STACY PHILLIPS: Good afternoon, everyone. Thank you for being here. Again, my name is Stacy Phillips. I am a project coordinator of family leadership at the Institute on Disabilities at Temple University.

Today, we also have, joining us, Jen Fisher, who's a Families First trainer, as well, and your presenter for today, who is Icylee Basketbill, who is also a Families First trainer. Just to let you know, Families First is a project of a Philadelphia Interagency Council activity. And it is funded by the Philadelphia Department of Behavioral Health and Intellectual Disability Services, as well as Elwyn Learning Services.

To let everyone know-- I think I mentioned it already-- but this session will be recorded. If you're not comfortable being on camera, that's fine. I see most of you have your cameras off.

We also have closed captioning enabled if you need that. If you look at the bottom of your screen, there should be a CC button to enable captioning. And if it's not there, you can go to More and Show Subtitles.

If you have a question along the way, we definitely will stop for questions. You can use the Reactions button at the bottom with a Thumbs Up or a Raise Hand. And also, you can unmute yourself.

If you are going to unmute yourself to ask a question, we ask that you just say your name before you start speaking. That does help us.

And I will turn it over to Icylee Basketbill, who has been a Families First trainer for many years and also worked with the Philadelphia Autism Project, as well as many other hats that she wears. She is phenomenal. So thank you again for being here. And, Icylee, the floor is yours.

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: Thank you, Stacy. And thank you, Jen Fisher, for being my backup and making sure that we have everything all lined up.

Good afternoon. Again, my name is Icylee Basketbill. And I'm a parent educator, Families First trainer, where I focus on being able to support families, folks in the community regarding, in this case, toilet training for children.

Just a little background. I have a 17-year-old daughter who's in 11th grade. She is on the autism spectrum. And a lot of my tips and strategies have come from my lived experience. And I just want to be able to share this with all you guys.

Feel free to chime in. I want to hear stories. I want to hear what you guys are going through, what you're working on. That way, we can all be able to support and help provide resources and everything.

I just currently graduated from Chestnut Hill College with my bachelor's in human services. And I currently work for Public Health Management Corporation, focusing on the youth and adults, educating about sexual health. We know how important that is. And as well as wearing other variety of hats.

But today, I am here to be able to talk about toilet training and pretty much meet you guys where you are. So just a little bit of rules, or our norms here. I'm not sure, Stacy, did you go over the norms?

STACY PHILLIPS: I did mention, please keep yourself on mute. And if you have a question, to use the Raise Hand reaction feature.

And if you do unmute, please say your name before you start sharing. If anyone is unmuted, I will mute you, just to let you know. Just, it helps with the recording, as well.

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: Right, and I also notice that we may have participants that may be on the phone line. So if you're not able to see the screen, we apologize. But we will provide a copy of the presentation afterwards. I believe we can email it, correct, Stacy?

STACY PHILLIPS: Yes. Anyone who registered for this session, we will be emailing out the PowerPoint presentation. And as mentioned, the session is being recorded. If you need to leave early or at any point and want to rewatch it, it will be shared on our Institute on Disabilities' website probably within a few weeks. We will have it professionally captioned before sharing.

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: All right, thank you so much. All right, so let's get started. So just, if you are able to, I just want to be familiar on who the audience is. Are you caregivers? Are you staff or working, supporting individuals or young folks with potty training? People in the community?

I just want to know who my audience is. You feel free to put it in the chat. But for today, we're going to talk about some tips and strategies for toilet training your children.

And I know that this is one of the [CHUCKLES] most important topics that I can say, at least in my experience currently, that needs attention. We have right now what is getting ready to be November-- wow [CHUCKLES]-- already.

And so I know that I spoke with a lot of families that either only have one kiddo or have siblings with a kiddo that they're trying to toilet train. And it's frustrating, especially when you're trying to get in a pre-K program or into kindergarten, transitioning. It can be very, very discouraging. And so I'm here to try to, again, help to meet you guys where you are.

STACY PHILLIPS: And, Icylee, this is Stacy. We have about four or five parents in the chat who are parents of children with autism, young children with autism. A four-year-old toddler on the spectrum. Another four-year-old. Another four-year-old. Wow.

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: [CHUCKLING]

STACY PHILLIPS: We have a lot of parents-- three-year-old twins on the spectrum. So we have a lot of families on, which is great.

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: All right, thank you so much for sharing that because it gives me an idea on areas to hit. OK, so when it comes down to the importance of toilet training, a lot of times we think of just putting the kids on the toilet and kind of just letting them do their thing, all right?

So the important thing about this training and this approach is the fact that it's more of a top-down system, where you're kind of looking at your environment. Everybody's houses are different. They may have multiple bathrooms. You have multiple potties all over the place.

But you want to know why? Why is this important to toilet train my child. All right, so some of the points are social independence. And so the reason why this is here is because we want our kiddos to be independent, especially when needing to go to the bathroom.

Socially, it helps with social skills, to connect with others. The next thing is family. Can we make sure that we're muted, please, if you're coming into our workshop? And thank you so much for coming.

[CHILD MUMBLING]

Stace, can we make sure we have everybody muted? Because we want it to be fair and make sure everyone's hearing everything.

STACY PHILLIPS: Mhm, absolutely.

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: Thank you. All right, so family. So we know how it is when you're trying to toilet train your child. And you're doing all the hard work at home. Then you send your child to grandma, to auntie's house for them to turn around and throw a Pull-Up or a Pamper on. And it gets frustrated.

So you want to be able to make sure you're on the same page with family members, all right? Educational-- again, I mentioned about transitioning into the next level of grading.

For the ages and stage in pre-K, our kids are trying to go into that 3 to 5 in that elementary school setting. And we want to make sure that they're potty trained and everything is good with that.

Financial-- we know that it is a lot of money to come out of our pockets to try to pay for these diapers and these Pull-Ups. Who has time for all of that? Who has the money, especially nowadays?

Although, just to throw a resource out there, if you have a child that's 3 and above, age 3 and above, and the child's on medical assistance, you can get free Pampers and Pull-Ups through Durable Medical Equipment, in which you would have your doctor fill out a script on the size, the quantity. And they will fax it over to Durable Medical Equipment.

And we can get you that resource. But we want to make sure that you know that's available, even though my goal is to get the children out of the Pampers and Pull-Ups, OK?

We talk about accessibility, hygiene. That's going to be important because I knew how I felt as a mom when my daughter had to get changed at the daycare or at the child care center. I'm like, now, I don't want all these strangers touching her. Let me hurry up and try to show her the right thing to do.

Behavioral-- sometimes our kiddos may not have the language to express how they're feeling. So we have to watch body language. We have to be able to pretty much read on what's going on. The kids that are hiding behind the couch or falling out, they're not able to let you know what's going on. And we have to remember behavior is communication.

And then lastly, safety. We want, again, for our kids to be safe, especially when we're going out in public. Teaching them on how to identify where the bathroom is. And we're going to get into that a little bit more.

So as I'm going through these slides, feel free, if you have any questions, if you have anything that you want to share what you're doing, feel free to put in the chat, or raise your hand. OK.

So other issues to consider. Again, I mentioned about the environment. Some folks have bathrooms on multiple floors or maybe just one, depending on their living situation. We mentioned family.

Cognitive level. Usually through the ages of your child's development, you're like, OK, they should be able to do this because they're a certain age. Or by two years old, they should be able to use the bathroom.

OK, every child is different, you know? So it's going to be important that you're paying attention to those milestones and you're working with whoever is in their life, the educators, the therapists.

And then, a big thing is the medical issues. This right here, I want to put a star, star, star next to. Because before you even consider potty training, you want to make sure that there's no issues with your children's bowels, their GI systems.

Have a conversation with their pediatrician or who their doctor is to let them know. My daughter, when I had her, she was premature. So of course, she was a little bit early than expected. And so she was underdeveloped in a lot of areas, developmentally, physically, and different things like that.

So again, it's important for you to have a conversation with the doctor to say, hey, you know what? I'm thinking about potty training my child. Because potty training starts at home, OK? I'll repeat that again. Potty training starts at home, in the home foundation.

So when you're communicating this with your physician and saying, what can we do? Maybe little Joey is on PediaSure or something or they can only have liquids or they can't eat solids. And all that stuff is going to impact on how much your child is going to the bathroom. So we're going to talk a little bit about that throughout.

So you are your child's first teacher. As parents, we are our child's first teachers. So these are the things to try to identify. And I know some of the families on here today have kids on the spectrum. And our babies learn differently. But these are just some areas to consider as being able to identify different characteristics within your own child.

So are they a visual learner? Usually, a lot of kids are born with their eyes. They see pictures. They see objects, different things like that.

So you want to use that to your advantage to show different pictures of a toilet and the words, stories, shows, different things like that. There's videos. We're going to talk about that a little bit later.

This is a big one. Does your child have a routine? Well, I'm going to back that up. Do you, as the caregivers or the folks that are supporting the child, do you have a routine already? Because in order for our kids to be organized, you have to be organized.

I know it's tough. I'm a single mom, you know? And we co-parent between the dad and myself. And those early times, it's like, I'm doing everything right. And he's being, as you say, just the dad and doing what he can do. And it gets frustrating.

But your routine is going to be important because that's how our kiddos learn. And then once they get routines down pat, you can kind of fade away. Think about ourselves. How will we be without our structured routine, going to work every day, using alarm clocks? The same thing goes for our kids.

You can't expect them to learn how to use the bathroom overnight. This is something that's new and that's different. So you want to make sure that you have the routine down pat, that it looks the same every day, around the same time, with the duration, how often. So think about that first, OK?

Sensory profile. So for some folks that may see that sensory word or the sensory integration, I know I was confused when I first even learned about sensory stuff because it could get confused with a child having some behavioral outbursts.

So if they're doing something sensory related, for example, some kids hate to hear the dryers when they're out in public. So you have the automatic flushers. You have the dryers, things like that. Are they holding their ears?

These are the things to start to observe because you are the detective. You're going to start trying to take down different things they're doing and say, hey, you know what? I noticed that when I try to put my child on the toilet seat, it's cold. It's hard. Do they not like cold? Or what do they prefer?

Also, when they're in the Pampers or Pull-Ups, some of them [CHUCKLES] don't mind being in a mess. And some of them hate it. So I'll hear parents say, oh, little Johnny keeps taking his Pull-Up off and throwing it across the floor, crawling across the room.

OK, well, that means that he doesn't like the way that feels on him. And that can kind of be uncomfortable. All right, so you want to start looking at the signs of what your kiddo is doing.

And just with homeostasis, to be able to pretty much bounce back and get on track. So those are some of the things to consider. Like I said, we're going to go step by step on the process leading up to actually doing the toilet training because it's important to lay this foundation. All right, I think we need to mute someone.

OK, so if you tell me that, oh, well, this doesn't work, or my kid is not listening, I've heard every excuse in the book. So I'm not trying to hear it. As a trainer and as a parent myself, I'm not trying to hear it.

But just understand that I empathize with you because it's tough. So a lot of times, we can be in our own way as caregivers and as trainers or whoever's supporting the kid through this process. Because we're going to make excuses up.

And so we talk about all these different bullet points. We try to talk ourselves out of it. Yeah, well, you know, I'm too busy to be trying to toilet train my child. I've got to go. I've got to get to work. I've got five other kids to take care of.

And then other times, you can hear, well, you know what? I'm afraid. And that's a natural feeling because if I told you, today I want all of you guys to throw away your Pampers and Pull-Ups, how would you feel? Feel free to put it in the chat if you want.

But how would you feel if I told you to get rid of it? And most of the time, folks will say, you know what? Uh-uh, I'm afraid of my child making a mess.

And just different things lining up, the roles. Does your child know how to pull up their pants theirself? We're going to talk about how you can tack on other routines a little bit later. But you're looking at pretty much where meeting your child where they are.

And so relationship with the school staff. And we're going to get into a couple of examples. But if you're in a supportive school setting or a child care setting where-- sometimes I think they already have routines on taking the kids to the bathroom.

But when you're saying toilet training starts at home and you're having a conversation with the school staff, you say, hey, I'm doing this at home. So we want to be able to mirror and be on the same page of what you're doing and how often you're taking the kids to the bathroom and things like that. So try to develop that relationship with that staff, that school staff.

So I'm going to stop and see if there's any questions or comments because I love to hear some juicy stories on what's going on. I want to hear anything from poop getting smeared, anything. You're more than welcome to share if you want. Is there anything in the chat, Stace or Jen?

STACY PHILLIPS: There are no questions right now. But since you put it out there to the parents, does anyone have anything that they want to share with us or any things that worked well for you or anything that you're having a challenge with that maybe we can help you with? Feel free to unmute. Just make sure you state your name before sharing. Or just type it in the chat.

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: Definitely. So I'm going to keep on going to the next slide. All right, so after explaining about the characteristics and some of the profiles to be able to consider of meeting your child where they are-- all right, we have a hand. Oh, Stacy's hand. [CHUCKLES]

STACY PHILLIPS: It's my hand. I didn't want to interrupt you. [CHUCKLES]

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: I got excited. No, go ahead, honey.

STACY PHILLIPS: It's not me. Sarah said, how would you know if your child potentially has GI or other issues?

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: Well, that's something that, again, you have to have that conversation with your doctor. Even if they may not have GI issues, you want to bring it up anyway. Bring the conversation up.

And the reason why I said that is we had one mother who had a preemie, little girl. And she was born without a urethra, OK? So that means that she wasn't able to urinate, to pee. So she had to have several surgeries as a young baby leading up to it.

And on top of that, ended up getting diagnosed, I think, with autism. So there was a lot of deficits where she wasn't able to express, a lot of behavior stuff. And then she had some issues with, I guess, her bowels.

So as a parent, you know your child better than anyone. But that's the best thing to do, is to reach out to the doctor just to make sure that there's no issues. And if they're saying it's OK, then I would say, hey, well, let's give it a try. Let's start this potty party.

STACY PHILLIPS: We have a couple other comments. Thank you, Icylee.

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: Thank you.

STACY PHILLIPS: Amy said, my little one takes his poopy diapers off during the night and makes a mess. He will just come off after being on the potty for 10 minutes and then squat and poop in his room as soon as we get him resettled.

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: Yes.

STACY PHILLIPS: That's tricky.

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: It's definitely very tricky. So throughout the workshop, we're going to pretty much talk about how to approach toileting, on how long they're sitting, and things like that. But like I said, this is the process where you're getting to know your kid. You're looking at the behaviors. You're looking at things they're doing.

So obviously, he doesn't like how that feels. And pooping is a very uncomfortable thing, even as an adult. We know that.

And so when you're asking your child to undo what they've learned for so long-- since they've come out of us and since they've been on this Earth, we've put a Pamper on them. So you're asking them to undo that situation. And so that's going to be a little bit tough.

But we'll get into the duration on how often and how long to sit and all those things and what you're feeding them and all those things. So I will be happy to address that when I get a chance.

STACY PHILLIPS: Great. That is awesome. We have two more comments.

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: OK, perfect. Keep them coming.

STACY PHILLIPS: Great. So Sarah said, my child's pediatrician is super knowledgeable about autism spectrum disorders. So I would just say to that maybe it's time to look for a developmental pediatrician or a new pediatrician. I know it's really hard to do sometimes. But go ahead, Icylee. You can speak to that.

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: No, yeah, just definitely piggybacking off of what Stacy said. And it breaks my heart because us families who are raising kids on the autism spectrum, it's either the pediatrician-- I remember my daughter's pediatrician when she was preemie, they actually gave me the number to Child Link, like here. We don't know anything about that. Here you go.

So I ended up having her enrolled-- not enrolled. But I was able to get into St. Chris, their special needs pediatrician. And they've been wonderful.

And also, as Stacy mentioned, developmental pediatricians, although it's very hard, there's a lot of waiting lists. But it's worth it getting on the waiting list because you want another opinion, you know what I mean?

You want to be able to have support in the area that you need support with as well as the medical part. So my suggestion to you is still talk to the pediatrician because they know the medical part. They don't have to know the autism piece, per se.

But more importantly, is there any GI issues? Is there any issues with my child pooping and everything? Because you can just have that basic conversation. And we can provide you with an autism resource list maybe in the chat or in the links to be able to look up other providers that can be able to support around the autism part.

STACY PHILLIPS: Yeah. And Jen did drop a link to special needs pediatricians with the phone number and the name. Thank you for doing that, Jen. We do have another comment, as well.

Rebecca has a five-year-old little girl who holds her bowel sometimes days at a time. And wondering if anyone else experienced this. Hello, yes, my son. And her doctor knows but hasn't given much advice. So my son-- I'll just speak to this really quickly and then turn it back to you, Icylee.

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: Sure.

STACY PHILLIPS: My son did the same thing for many years and ended up really giving himself some GI issues. We ended up at CHOP and went to an internal specialist who specializes in neuro-- I'm trying to remember the official term.

But it was a neurologist that specialized in these GI issues for kids that had a lot of fears for toileting. And we were there every two weeks for a year until he was able to finally become more comfortable going.

But he's 11 and still will not have a bowel movement anywhere but home. And he was in Pull-Ups until he was seven, I believe, maybe eight, but only for bowel movements. He just refused to relax and go.

So when we're out and he has to go, it is a problem. He will hold it in, which causes stomach problems, as you can imagine. So it's definitely an ongoing thing. But I would also talk to your pediatrician about maybe seeing someone at CHOP or one of the other children's hospitals that specialize in this type of thing.

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: Stacy, thank you so much because I haven't had that experience with my daughter. And this is why it's so great for us as parents and us as professionals that have been there and are still going through things to be able to share things like that.

This is what this workshop is all about. We want to make sure we're sharing tips, strategies, all of this. Listen, we all learn from each other. That's what it's about. So thank you so much. Anything else?

STACY PHILLIPS: I'm not seeing anything else in the chat. But Jen is putting some additional information in there. For anyone that needs it, please check the chat. We will also make sure that is saved if you need. If you don't have a chance to write these down, Center City Pediatrics and special needs pediatricians' information are in the chat.

JEN FISHER: The doctor that runs Center City Pediatrics, he is a developmental pediatrician who works as a general pediatrician. So if you can't find a developmental pediatrician, he at least is knowledgeable.

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: Great, great. That's wonderful because I didn't even know that. See, this is what I mean. We're all sharing information.

It is important because raising a child with differences and some barriers to being able to live an everyday life, even with this potty training situation, everybody's like, oh, well, why do you have to have a workshop about potty training? Hello? [SCOFFS] It's not an easy thing, emotionally.

Again, it's affecting the academic, education world. It's affecting just going out in public. There's so much more to it that folks don't understand. They may not have an idea of what families have to go through like ours.

So just know that you don't have to do this alone. And you don't have to sit there and struggle and let time pass. If you know that gut feeling, feel that gut feeling and say, hey, you know what? Let me reach out and find out and think outside the box and see what else can be done.

So all right, I'm going to move forward if there's no other questions. So I'm just going to go through this. And then if there's any other chat questions, we'll go through that.

So we mentioned about the characteristics, identifying your child's profile. So number one on here, it's saying teacher and parent collaboration.

Again, I know that when I was starting with potty training, again it starts at home. When you potty train, it starts at home. So when I attended the workshop, just like you guys, except it was in person many moons ago, I said, you know what? I was so excited after the potty training workshop that I went back to my daughter's teacher, like, OK, I'm ready to do this.

So make sure you're communicating to the teachers, the educators, or the folks that are supporting your kiddos, whether it's the therapist. Let them know what you're doing because you want to be able to make sure everything you're doing looks the same in all settings. So meaning at home, in the school, in the community. And again, that's why it's important to have those routines down pat.

And we mentioned about understanding your child's profile. So when I mean understanding your child's profile, your kid can be a cactus, meaning they're dry. They never pee. Or they can be a waterfall. They're always peeing up a storm everywhere, all right?

So again, you're the detective. So this is where, in the beginning of even before the potty training actually takes place, you're observing. This is what the therapists do when they do an observation and evaluation. They got to look at different things that the individual is doing.

So in this case, if your child is peeing all the time, we can be able to approach it differently than a child that's always dry, that never pees. We mentioned about the medical issues. We want to make sure that you're communicating with the doctors if there's any issues with them with bowels because pooping can be a very, very tough thing when it comes down to potty training.

The myth of being ready or showing signs. I heard all kinds of excuses on why families haven't potty trained their kids. They're like, OK, well, because they didn't tell them. Oh, well, because they have to be this age. Or they're not showing me that they have to go.

No, none of those things. You need not to wait on the child because we are the ones that are modeling for the child. We have to set the stage and be able to have the preparation to be comfortable to do this.

So if you know that your child is getting ready to transition into kindergarten and you know they need to be potty trained, then it's important for you to set the stage up and to have everything you need. You need the support system, which I can be. You can call me any time if you want to cry and scream that it's not working.

But when you see your child hide behind the couch, [CHUCKLES] that's kind of the things that you're doing, or the snatching off the Pull-Ups and Pamper, as I mentioned earlier. But don't wait on a baby. Don't wait on those kids to be ready.

We have to run the ship. So we have to make that decision of making sure we have everything we need and we have the schedule down pat. And different things we're going to talk about are reinforcements and rewards and things down the line.

As far as the parent pep rally, it doesn't have to be depressing. It doesn't have to be this, ugh, I got to potty train this child. Our kids watch us. Our body language is everything.

So you want to be able to have a pep rally, make it fun. We have families that decorate the bathrooms, different things like that. And try to approach it in a way of positivity, OK?

So that's what I encourage you guys to do. I'm going to stop right there. Is there any comments or questions or anyone sharing?

STACY PHILLIPS: Yeah, this is Stacy. So there were two different families-- and I'm sure that it goes beyond that-- that mentioned, how do I teach my child who's nonverbal to communicate when they have to go? And I mean, you already said--

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: That's my favorite question. [CHUCKLES]

STACY PHILLIPS: --the hiding behind the couch, right? So there's all these nonverbal cues that we need to start looking for, right? Like you mentioned hiding behind the couch.

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: Oh, yes, that's my favorite thing because we know. [CHUCKLES] We know what happens when they got that straight face. And you're like, what you up to, child? [CHUCKLES] And then you said there was something else. And then I'll address--

STACY PHILLIPS: There were a couple of people that mentioned the same thing. My child is nonverbal. My child is nonverbal. How do I know when they want to communicate that sort of thing.

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: OK.

STACY PHILLIPS: So yeah, I know that you have plenty of different ways to address this.

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: Yes. [CHUCKLES] Most definitely. Thank you, Stacy. And so yes, that's what I get all the time when we do the potty training, when I do the workshops, is the first thing people will say, well, my child is non-verbal. They are not able to use verbal language. How do I potty train them?

So my thing to you as far as a suggestion and just kind of letting you know, your child in the beginning does not have to use their words in order to learn how to use the bathroom. Because at this time, requesting to go to the bathroom, all that stuff can come later.

And even though they may not still be able to use verbal language, there's other things that can be used instead. We're going to talk a little bit later about the picture schedules and icons, things like that.

But see, again, we're putting that on the kids. And we don't want to put that on the kids. Just because they can't talk or they can't use their words doesn't mean that they're not able to successfully go to the bathroom.

So how we would approach it is in the way of, once I go through the different steps of how long and the rewards, it'll kind of start to make sense. But just know in the beginning right now, they don't have to learn how to use their words.

And I'll give you an example because my daughter was nonverbal in the beginning. She had limited verbal language. And she's very routine-oriented.

So she was playing at the daycare. And then she stopped. And she ran in the building. And they thought she was eloping. No, she wasn't eloping. She was going to the bathroom.

But it's like, when the child is so routine-oriented, they just go do what they need to do without having to ask questions and things like that, or "I have to go to the bathroom." You want to not get on them for that because you have to set up the schedule.

You have to set up that structure. And it needs to be the same every day, the same time. So a lot of this is going to be on the caregivers and the folks that are supporting our kids. And I'll get into it a little bit later on about the communication piece.

STACY PHILLIPS: And this is Stacy. I just want to piggy back off that. I mean, think about the fact that there are plenty of people that are nonverbal. They use communication devices.

And even though your children are young and they might not be there yet, there's definitely things that you can do. And thinking about children who are deaf that don't communicate verbally, but through sign, it's pretty easy to teach that sign for bathroom, which is just shaking the T.

But looking for those nonverbal cues, it's like you're a detective. And making sure that you're paying attention to those things will support that, as well.

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: Absolutely. And again, we'll get into that a little bit later. But no, those are great questions because a lot of times, that could be one of the reasons why a lot of families are holding back from toilet training, because they're intimidated. And they're like, oh, my child doesn't know how to talk. They won't understand what they need to do. Not at all. Nope. Not trying to hear that excuse.

I'm here to support you guys. We're here to support. And as Stacy mentioned, there's different assistive technology, different devices that they can use. A lot of our kiddos may be using tablets with apps and things like that to communicate already.

So you're already one up on things if you have those devices already. And we'll tell you a little bit later on about how, if you don't have anything, you can rent them. We can give you information on that. Is there anything else?

STACY PHILLIPS: I'm thinking that maybe you could move on.

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: OK.

STACY PHILLIPS: Lindsay had a comment in the chat. But I feel like it's stuff that you're going to touch on as we move along. So yeah, I would like her to take in what you have as far as the schedule. That really helps a lot.

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: Right.

STACY PHILLIPS: When you get more into that whole scheduling and how to do that, I think that'll help her. So I'm going to just hold that.

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: No, thank you so much. You know I can't see the chat. But thank you so much. All right, so we're going to move on. Like I said, I will try my best to address any of your questions and comments.

And like I said, I want this to be interactive. If you want to come off mute, make sure you raise your hands and things of that nature.

OK, so we talked about step one and different things like this. So step two, this is actually taking data. Remember, I mentioned that you are the detective. All right, you're the child's teacher. You're the detective. You're wearing many hats in this situation.

And so tracking elimination, dry and wet diapers. And remember how I was mentioning earlier on the sensory profile, is your kid the kid that always pees a lot? Or are they always dry?

So this is where you want to start tracking. If you haven't paid attention to it, take a couple of days, like a week to be able to do an analysis to try to determine, you know what? Let me think about this. You know what I'm saying?

I would want you to do that after our workshop, maybe next week. Matter of fact, we got some-- oh, that's the mail person. Sorry. [CHUCKLES] We have some time coming off. I think we have election day, some downtown.

Holidays are getting ready to come up. So this is going to be a good time to do potty training. So you want to see how often their wetting and how often they're staying dry. So you want to try to keep track of that.

We mentioned about looking for cues and signals. Like I said, hiding behind the couch or them having their legs-- [CHUCKLES] and they're dancing just like the commercial. Mom, I have a situation, where he's trying to tug at his belt buckles and all kinds of things.

And so do they have a schedule already? I mention this a little bit early because if you don't have a schedule for your child or yourself, then it's going to be hard to guide them.

All right, what does after school look like, for example? Are they getting off the bus? Are they throwing their clothes everywhere? Are you letting them run around?

Start looking at your schedule. And look at your support system, too. Because like I said, it's hard when you have other kids and then you have your child that needs a little bit extra attention. But having a schedule is going to definitely help the potty training process go way much more smoother than not having any type of structure at all.

What are their eating schedule and customs? So what I want to mention to you guys is think about your kiddo. I would say, most of the time, our kids are grazers. And I hear a lot of times, our kids are picky eaters, because mine was.

It could be just a picky eater. Or it could be an autism thing. Whatever the case is, you know your kid. So if you know that they just like only pizza and French fries, well, guess what. They're going to be struggling with pooping. [CHUCKLES] Or they never drink anything. They're going to be struggling to pee.

So how can you toilet train your child when they're not eating enough or they're not peeing enough? So if you're not sitting down at dinner-- and they might bite a nugget and keep on running. OK, if they're not eating enough, again think about how much they're eating.

Or if you have the kid that is just on a liquid diet because of some other medical stuff, those are the things to look at. How often are they drinking? And how often are they eating?

The plumbing speed, I mentioned are they a cactus? Are they dry? Or are they wet? This is the data part. I don't want you guys to just jump, like, OK, I'm going to sit them on the toilet. These are the steps, I'm sorry, unfortunately that you have to take in order to really observe and pay attention to your kiddo.

And so it's going to be important, also-- and it's not all about food and drinks. But in this case, when you're potty training in the way that I would like to approach it as a suggestion, this is the time to start giving them lots of fluids. I call it potty happy hour.

They're drinking everything they can drink. Act like you're having a little tea party or you're having a little gathering and you're playing with your kid and you're drinking. Let them drink what they want because the more they drink, then they'll have to eliminate going pee.

And so the favorite food part is-- later on, we can utilize if they have a certain food item that they like. And then you can use that for a reinforcement or for a reward later on down the line. So we'll get into that a little bit later.

So what you see right here, I know it kind of looks high tech and all kinds of numbers, very intimidating. But this is just like a toileting data sheet.

This is something that I actually had the pleasure of being introduced to during the same potty training I went to years ago. And I really just thought it was a great idea to keep this form because I just want to give you ideas on how to track your child's eliminations, whether they're peeing, they're pooping, whether they're having accidents.

Because remember when I mentioned that in order for your kid to pick up a certain type of approach with potty training, what does that look like? You've got to know how often they're going.

As a grown person, I know I'm regular. And so the kids are eating all kinds of stuff. But if they're not eating enough or they're drinking too much, you'll be able to track how often they're peeing and how often they're pooping and things like that.

So this sheet right here is a great way to at least start with a foundation, especially if you're communicating with the school. Because as soon as I went through this potty training, I said, oh, let me contact the school. And I mentioned about this potty datasheet.

And we all had a meeting. And they said, this is a great idea. Because I said, you guys already have my child on a schedule. So you're taking to the bathroom at 9:00, OK?

Say my baby went to the bathroom before the school bus came. So when they got to class or got to school, they have a set time to take the kids to the bathroom.

You can have that teacher be able to write down, yes, they pooped. Or yes, they peed, meaning urine. U for pee. P for poop. Or they didn't go at all. Or they had an accident. That's the A. And what time.

So then that way, you can see by the time the baby gets off of school, they can send this data tracking sheet back home. I even had it at the after-school program when they were taking them there because I was very serious about getting my child up out of Pampers and Pull-Ups. I said, whatever I need to do.

So that's why communicating in all settings-- homeschool community starts at home. Have a meeting with the teachers. Find out how often they're taking their kids to the bathroom. Then that way you'll have the data to see how often. And then so that way you can pretty much know how to approach it.

All right, so I'm just going to pause right there just to see if there's any other questions. Or, Stacy, you can identify if it's something that I may be going over with and we can move on.

STACY PHILLIPS: I don't see any questions. I had mentioned in the chat that I remembered tea parties with my son when we were toileting, toilet training him.

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: See? Right.

STACY PHILLIPS: You have to be careful, though, because tea is more of a diuretic than coffee. It makes you pee so much. But he loved tea parties. So [CHUCKLES] that was our big thing.

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: So he's actually drinking tea for the tea parties?

STACY PHILLIPS: [CHUCKLES] Yeah. He loves hot tea. My son loved hot tea. But we would use apple juice sometimes, too.

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: Oh, great, great. Listen, apple juice, you know what apple juice is supposed to do? [CHUCKLES] Make them go, right?

STACY PHILLIPS: I know. I love the happy hour idea, though. It's so funny to think about kids having a happy hour. Just makes me want to--

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: Right? Because you got to make it fun. You know what I'm saying?

STACY PHILLIPS: Jen says, we use lemonade. That's a good one, too.

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: Yeah, so what do we call that? The lemonade gathering? Or just think of something cute. Think of a fancy name for it. It doesn't have to be an actual-- you know what your child likes.

I'll hear from parents like, oh, they don't like that, nothing. And they'll already kind of be disgruntled, like, oh, well, I can't get them to do anything. They don't like anything. I'm like, OK, they got to like something.

STACY PHILLIPS: Yeah.

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: Think hard. [CHUCKLES]

STACY PHILLIPS: Yeah. And also, I wanted to mention about this chart. This chart is so great. I'm wondering if people googled a toileting tracker, do you think they would be able to find a couple different versions of this? Or where did you find this one?

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: Well, you know, it was many moons ago. But I actually had, outside of this form right here, I had the teachers make it up because it's nothing-- like, if you do a Word doc and just do the cells, you know what I'm saying, and just do the columns, you can just do something on your own.

Or if you're not able to, let me know. I'll be happy to help do it. But I'm quite sure there's a lot of data analysis. There's a lot of stuff there. But you get the idea.

This is something that you can do on your own or on a computer. Or you can just do it by hand. And like I said, if you're working with the education team or folks at the daycare, they got a printer. Somebody can hook you up. [CHUCKLES]

STACY PHILLIPS: Yeah, and Nicole just put in the chat, my son's early intervention preschool tracks similarly. And I don't know why I never thought to continue it at home from daycare.

So yeah, it's funny how we always have that weird separation in our mind. Like, well, that's a school thing. But there's so much that transfers over, especially when it comes to activities of daily living, which toileting is number one activity of daily living.

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: ADLs.

STACY PHILLIPS: Yeah, so I'm really glad that they're doing that, Nicole. And you should just ask them for a copy and keep them handy.

You can also do it on an iPad or a tablet if that's something that you feel more comfortable with. If someone's more techie and they just want to track it online, there's probably tons of online versions of this, as well.

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: Absolutely. And thank you so much, was it Nicole?

STACY PHILLIPS: Yes.

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: OK, thank you so much, Nicole, because you know what? That's my point. That's my point in saying sometimes we get so caught up, like, OK, they're the professionals. That's the professional stuff. No. Whatever you're doing, I want to do it, too. [CHUCKLES]

And that's why I said, having it look the same in all settings is going to help your kiddo. If they're doing it in school, why not mirror that at home? Because it looks familiar to them. So that's what I just wanted to share.

OK, so I'm going to move on. All right, so we talked about the data tracking sheet. Think about things that you're already doing with your kiddo. And yes, I know it can be hard.

I have heard all the excuses in the book. 'I'm not ready.' 'I'm scared.' 'I don't want to deal with the mess.' That's a huge one. Like I said, if I told you to take the Pampers and Pull-Ups away, how would you feel?

And everybody has a fit. They want to have a whole meltdown. 'Oh, my God, I can't imagine my child without it because,' and then they come up with all the excuses.

OK, so I like to say that Pampers and Pull-Ups are portable toilets because they are. And so we got comfortable with our kids pooping and peeing and changing. The money is being spent up on the diapers and all these things to make sure that they're clean and intact.

But there's other things and there's other ways. So through the remainder of this workshop, I'm going to keep referring [CHUCKLES] to Pampers and Pull-Ups as portable toilets because at this point, you're going to be confusing the kids.

I'll hear parents say, oh, well, I tried to put them on a toilet. And it didn't work. And I put the Pull-Up back on them. You're confusing the babies. OK, they don't know whether you want me to sit on this big old round thing or you want me to put the Pull-Up on.

And I had some families say, oh, well, little Johnny went to grab the Pull-Up and wanted me to put it on him. Or in my daughter's case, she found them. Here I'm thinking I hid them. And she done got the Clifford Pull-Ups on. I said, where you get--?

So you got to get the Pull-Ups and the Pampers out of sight. Just keep them for night training. And I'll get into that later. But I'm talking about during-the-day training.

You don't have time for this. I'm hearing all the excuses. Don't be afraid, OK? Because I got your back, first of all. But these tips and strategies are going to help meet you guys where you are.

So since I'm telling you to get rid of the Pampers and Pull-Ups for the day, guess what. Don't fret. Don't worry. We got everything. See, this is for the Phillies, y'all. I got all my fireworks here, too.

Ta-da! So the picture right here that you're seeing-- and hopefully you can see it pretty good. And I apologize for those that may be on the phone that you can't see. These are the waterproof bottoms, OK?

So they're the training pants. So they will be in place of the Pamper. They will be in place of the Pull-Up. And I will explain how that works.

So I'm going to quickly grab-- because I still have my daughter's. I'm making a mess. [CHUCKLES] So these are pretty much what you see on the screen.

They're Gerber's. And it's clothdiaper.com. We may have Jen put that in the chat for us. And it's also towards the end of the slides for our slide resources.

So how it works is when you are ready to do your potty training, normally at home, you can go anywhere from having the kids have just a shirt with nothing on underneath if you're doing stuff during the day. Or if you're ready to do the panties or the underwears for the boys or the girls, then you can do the underwear or the panties.

And then you put these over top of the underwear and panties. And then you put their pants on or whatever they're wearing. So when you're potty training, you want to try to stay away from snaps, zippers, and all those things. You can have little leggings for them or little sweats with no strings, you know what I mean?

We call them uh-uh, no-nos. Like, hold my keys. Nope, I don't have any pockets. Like, we want plain Jane pants-- plain Jane, OK? So this is good for when the kids are traveling.

Remember when I said you're afraid of a mess? Well, these are going to help. And they're just temporary, OK? Either Potty Scotties or Potty Patties used to be a name of other brands. But you can find them, I'm quite sure, at Walmart, Amazon. There's different places now versus what they had back in the day.

We also have a link for if your kiddo was a little bit bigger. You could also look into Durable Medical Equipment to see if they have anything, as well. But you can throw these in the dryer.

I'm talking about, my child's 17 now. And she was preemie. But I still have these. And I love them to death because when that bus came pulling up and I knew that I was nervous because I'm like, she has her panties on and she has these on. But if she pees, guess what? It's not going to go through, all right?

So these are some examples. And I'll be happy to answer any questions, or if you're not sure how to do it or if you have tried it or if you have done it. Stace, we got anything, babe?

STACY PHILLIPS: Jen has been gracious enough to put tons of links in the chat. Also, Roshan shared Potty Whiz. It's an app. And Jen went ahead and put that link in the chat as well as the other cloth diaper things that you mentioned.

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: Dot com? OK.

STACY PHILLIPS: Yeah, I think we're good.

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: All right, so thank you so much for sharing that. Like I said, sharing is caring because we are all in this together.

So pretty much, again, how it will work is you're trying to hide those Pull-Ups. You're trying to hide those Pampers during the day. If you're going to dedicate and do this, let's do it right.

Let's not do it halfway and confuse the kids because, again, you're asking them to sit on the toilet or the potty. And then you're putting the Pull-Up back on there. And they're like, wait a minute. Why do I have to sit on that thing, that little round hole when I can just poop and pee in here?

So you're going to see a lot of resistance. You're going to see a lot of challenging behaviors-- again, behaviors are communication-- because they don't like how it feels. So again, you're still in detective mode. You're still trying to figure things out.

You may find out-- we know the difference is they're making the Pull-Ups and Pampers so good so when they're peeing, you can hardly feel it, you know? They're sucking everything up. And they're running. And their little butts, everything's swolled out. [CHUCKLES]

I'm like, how do they not feel that? They don't feel it. They don't care. They're still going about their business. But we know if you pee in underwear, it's cold. So that's when they can tell the difference.

And it's very, very interesting because a lot of times, kids are curious about their bodies and what's coming out of what hole. So all that stuff down the line, we're going to teach them on using positive language, trying not to say, "ew, you stink" and "pew."

Try to stay away from those words, please. It's bad enough that they think that they're doing something wrong or the way that it feels is very uncomfortable. So we want to try to have positive talk, OK?

All right, so again, we went over a couple of things. And we're going to talk about how often to sit and things of that nature. So by this time, you've already recognized your child's characteristics. You've already had a conversation with your pediatrician or medical support person that can either give you clearance, like everything's a go. There's no issues with the bowels.

You identified if your child is peeing a lot or they're not peeing enough. Same thing for the poop. And so you're starting to kind of build. It's like scaffolding. We're building on each part of preparing for the environment.

So what I want to get into now is, again, you're having a conversation with whoever is watching your child, whether it's the education system, whether it's auntie and grandmom and family. You still need to be professional and say, listen, I'm about to get in deep. [CHUCKLES] I'm going to need some support. So when I go to potty train my child, do not throw the Pampers and Pull-Ups back on there because you're going to be undoing everything that you've worked so hard to get to.

So right now, again, I mentioned about-- oh, I want to talk about potties. So some people may have questions on, oh, I already have a potty seat. Some of the potties that's not a toilet. I don't know if you guys can kind of see that, the potty.

If you guys are using the potty seat instead of the toilet, which is OK-- like I said, everybody has a different situation. You may not be able to get that baby up the steps in time. I don't know where your bathroom and your toilets are located. But these are good in those cases.

But you want to make sure that you have all your supplies ready. You want to make sure that you have a timer. And we're going to get into that in a little bit.

But you want to have the clothes, like your clean underwear, things to change clothes. It's going to definitely get messy. But for those that are using the actual toilet, this is the time where you would prepare if you have an insert. And we'll talk about that in a little bit. You want to get a step stool together. Start gathering everything up, all right?

We talked about diapers versus underpants already. The part I want to discuss is about the favorite food and weaning off favorites. So what's missing probably from a lot of yous' guys steps with potty training is what we call a reinforcer or reinforcement or a reward.

No, it's not trying to bribe the child. If you do this, you get that. It's not in that way. It's like, OK, you've got to try to find something that's highly motivating for your child.

But you got to figure out what's motivating that you can only use for the potty or for toilet training. And so in my daughter's case, it was using Cheez-Its. She loved Cheez-Its. She ate them every day, all day when she was little. Still eats them now.

But I said, you know what? She loved them so much. Let me make that a bathroom reward. If you go to the bathroom, then I'll give you Cheez-Its. And I'll talk about that in a little bit.

But I'm trying to get you guys to start thinking, what is maybe a favorite food or an item or something like that that your child likes? This is the time to pump them with a lot of fluids. So if they're drinking water, if they're drinking apple juice-- in Stacy's case, tea parties, they love tea, or Jen's case, lemonade-- this is the time to give them maybe a drink that they aren't supposed to-- not to say "aren't supposed to have" but that you wouldn't normally get.

Maybe it's something that's a treat. And give it to them because the more they drink, they're going to have to pee. So if you guys have been potty training and trying to do this toilet training without making sure they're drinking, then how are they going to pee?

If they're not drinking enough, then you've got to try to track it. That's why I have that data tracking sheet because it's going to make you think, like you know what? They're not really drinking a lot. Let me see what's going on. Let me see how I can approach it.

So my daughter loves that blue Gatorade, which Gatorade is electrolytes. Trying to get that back in-- OK, I'll let her have it. But it would just be for potty training.

So we're having our happy hour. I'm drinking my drink. She's drinking her drink. We're listen to the music, having a good time. And then once it's time to go to the bathroom, you know when you set that timer on when it's time to go, all right?

So then as far as clean-ups, low key, clean-ups. Please try not to get into-- well, I think going back to the one mom that said that her child's pooping all night long and throwing the diaper and everything like that. Yeah, that can be hard.

But we want to try to focus on not asking all these open-ended questions, like, well, why didn't you tell me? How's the baby going to tell you? They don't know what's going on with them.

So we got to really step back and not put so much pressure and expectation on the children when we're supposed to lead the ship. So even if they do make a mess, you say, no, no. And then you show them what they are supposed to do.

So another key note to behaviors, switching that, if you tell a child no, you have to do what's called a replacement behavior. You have to replace with whatever you want them to do instead.

So if you tell your child no, you've got to tell them what they're supposed to do after that. So if they're cleaning up, have a little hamper. Maybe put their name on it. Maybe decorate it so they know that soiled and dirty clothes are supposed to go in the hamper.

And I'm saying the same thing with the diapers or in this case, the panties or the rubber-proof bottoms. If they get soiled, then you do hand and hand and, nope, this is where it's supposed to go so they can be able to put two and two together.

So this is a picture of some ideas and trying to explain-- we're going to talk about how long-- again, we're leading up to that. So whatever you guys are doing at home right now, if you're using a potty seat like I showed, it's fine.

But if you're using a toilet seat, you know their little butts are small. So it might be too small. So you want to look into the inserts. Maybe having some cute characters, like Disney princesses or the Frozen.

Look at my man right there on the bottom like, hey, yeah, I can do it. It's me. He's on the potty, and things like that. But the young lady that's sitting down on the toilet, sitting on the insert with her cute little shiny shoes, her feet are planted on the stool.

And guess what. You want a stool because you want to make sure that the kids are sitting comfortably. You know when we're at the restaurant and we're sitting on bar stools, our legs start burning because they're just hanging. We need our feet to be planted solid so we can be comfortable.

And just in case they have a bowel movement, again, everything is in line and in place because you want them to be comfortable, OK? So I'm going to stop right there and see if there's any questions.

STACY PHILLIPS: This is Stacy. There's no questions right now. We did have a comment earlier from Amy that said they tried to do Pull-Ups over the undies. And it didn't work. And then they think they might have confused them even more. So we are focusing on that.

And Jen said for kids that don't eat that might have a feeding tube, using bubbles while they're sitting on the potty is also a really good motivator. So I was thinking about that, too, like games or toys. I remember sitting in front of my son and playing I-Spy just to distract him from the actual fact that I was trying to get him to go.

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: Yes, yes. And someone told me, too, is that they had their kid blow out a candles [CHUCKLES] or a few candles, you know what I'm saying, which sounds like a little fun game or whatever like that, which can help when you're blowing something out.

And it teaches them other little oral motor skills and things like that and maybe preparing them for sucking straws or drinking cups. I'm always think of how one skill can develop into others and so on and so forth. So those are great examples. So thank you, Stacy. And thank you, Jen.

So I'm going to try this. It's a little video clip. I'm praying it works. Please let me know. And if it's not, then it's not a big deal. But it's just a little short video just explaining on why visuals are important.

And again, this will give you a chance to think about your strength of where your child is and meeting them where they are with visuals. So I'm going to give it a try. So give me a moment.

[VIDEO PLAYBACK]

- If you're a college student like me, especially, you need Grammarly in your life. Grammarly is a digital writing assistant--

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: We don't need Grammarly right now. Can you guys hear that?

STACY PHILLIPS: Yes. You're good.

[UPBEAT GUITAR MUSIC]

- We use visuals every day-- icons, traffic signs, calendars, clocks, maps, recipes, grocery lists, and more. For students, visuals provide a form of communication that lasts much longer than spoken language. Examples include visual schedules, time timers, scripted routines, checklists, and visual reminders. Visuals literally help your students see what you mean.

[CHILDREN EXCLAIMING]

For students who are visual thinkers, have language-processing delays, are easily distracted, anxious, or English-language learners, visuals provide comfort, predictability, and access to the same information as their peers. People often think it is helpful to repeat instructions and provide verbal prompts. But more words can simply mean more language to process.

Imagine getting to a vending machine and the visuals have been removed. Don't worry, Vinny will tell you everything you need to know.

- It's got nachos, chips, cookies, Smarties, M&M's, coffee, crisps, Babe Ruths.

- What if the visuals on your phone were removed and replaced with someone to remind you of everything verbally.

- Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, email, weather, calendar. Oh, you have one appointment today.

- Suppose we removed all visuals from your recipe book. Fortunately, we have your mother-in-law on standby.

- Put the ground beef, onion, and oil in a frying pan. Stir to break up the meat as it browns.

- We all need visuals in our life. Using more visuals throughout the day will help all students. Visuals encourage independence and inclusion. They reduce anxiety and frustration. They support self-regulation and universal design for learning. Visuals-- a simple, convenient alternative to repeating yourself all day.

[CHILDREN CHEERING]

[END PLAYBACK]

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: OK.

STACY PHILLIPS: That video makes me laugh. [CHUCKLES]

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: It does. It's so cute. And it makes sense because I'm like, oh, how could I have somebody follow me around every day telling me what my schedule is? But it's a great example of being able to see where the kiddos are using their visions.

Again, the more words we're using, it makes it hard for the kids to process the language that we're trying to convey to them. So I think that was the one. OK, go on back.

All right, so now we're going to start talking about the process of how long and the duration and when to take them to the bathroom and everything. So I mentioned about trying to identify what drinks you're going to give them, because the more they drink, they're going to have to go.

As a suggestion to them, this is something that I thought about a little while back, is if there's a certain food or maybe a toy or whatever the motivation of your child is-- say for example, OK, this is October, all right? So we know that November is coming up next.

What I did with my daughter is, again, I kind of faded out the Cheez-Its. And I reintroduced them when I was ready to potty train her. So that meant-- and I know sometimes that may be hard when the kid's so used to having a certain favorite item to eat or to play with. But it's just a suggestion that you can try, is taking that item and reintroducing it that next month when you're about to do the potty training.

So by this time, you have your step stool. You've got your insert. You've got your waterproof bottoms. You have your favorite thing to train. And now, it doesn't have to be edibles as far as a motivator.

A reinforcement is pretty much giving a reward for doing a great job. Like, I love to get my paycheck. When I've done my work all week, I need to make sure that they're direct deposit and I get paid for what I've worked hard for.

So think of it like that. The child is working so hard to be able to do everything that you want them to do, follow the schedules, the routine. It's a process. And we want to reward them for doing a great job.

Now, what that reward looks like, it's totally up to you. But I will say this. If you're choosing a motivation reward for them doing a great job with going to the bathroom, you want to make sure that it's something that has to be immediate.

So if your child goes to the bathroom successfully, you hear a little tinkle tinkle, don't say, oh, my God, good job, Julie. We're going to take you to Disney World. Not a good reward to use. An immediate reward would be, great job. Here's a Cheez-It.

And so if you choose a Cheez-It or an edible, we suggest that you don't use that for any other time of the day. Don't give them Cheez-Its every day.

If you send them to school, if you're on the same page with the teachers, you can tell them, yes, the Cheez-Its are going to just be bathroom rewards. After-school program, when you take them to the bathroom, make sure you give her a Cheez-It.

Again, you're going to think about what you want them to drink. I keep referring to the blue Gatorade or the blue Hawaiian Punch. I let my daughter drink, drink, drink. And then when she has success on the toilet, she goes, then she gets the reward.

Now, we want to make sure that the reward is not too long lived, again. If you give them a toy as a reward, you got to make sure that it's a toy just for bathroom because they might be content for the rest of the day playing with their Hot Wheels.

And I know that a lot of times our kids are gadget kids, as I call them. If you want to use a video, then time it. Put a timer to it. Mickey Mouse Clubhouse-- OK, you know what? Good job for going to bathroom, Jake. I'mma let you watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. And put that bad boy on for five minutes.

And then when you take him back to the bathroom again, do the same thing. But again, that has to just be for the bathroom. So some of the rewards-- I'll give an example-- is these are reward boxes. And mine's kind of fell on the floor. [CHUCKLES]

But my box had in there for my daughter with Lalaloopsy. She liked a lot of toys and things like that. And I knew what her strength was. She knew that when she got that, she did a good job.

So again, the rewards that you give your child doesn't have to be edibles. But nine times out of 10, a lot of the families are like, OK, here.

Sit down and decorate a shoebox. Like you see, this one's very pretty. I love it. Every time I see this picture, I'm like, wow. It makes me want to just do arts and crafts. That way you guys are doing it together. And it may be meaningful for both of you guys.

So with the M&Ms, that was in a jar. And I know one mom, she had the jar up high, where the child knew that it was a bathroom reward. And they couldn't have it any other time.

So when you get a chance or if you feel free sharing, how many of you guys have tried reinforcements or rewards for going to the bathroom? Because this is going to be important, again, to have a reward that is only for the bathroom and not any other time, because they need to put two and two together.

If I go to the bathroom, then I get the reward. Or I'll get the fruit snacks. I'll open up that fruit snack thing. And I'll give her one and not the whole pack. Again, that might be a little bit too much overload.

So step four. So say you're in the bathroom. And a lot of times, some people say, oh, well, the ADA therapist, we've got an ADA therapist. And they told us to sit the child on the toilet and just have them sit there for, like, an hour. And they're doing nothing.

So again, we talked about visuals and how they're important to prepare. So you can use books. You can use movies, social stories. And I know my daughter loved the Bear In The Big Blue House. All right, I'm going way back. [CHUCKLES]

Jen knows what I'm talking about. Stacy knows what I'm talking about. But Bear In The Big Blue House had an episode called "Potty," where it was a little mouse that sat on the toilet. And as soon as that mouse was sitting on the toilet, my daughter went and sat on her toilet upstairs.

I said, OK, social stories. You want to be able to explain on next steps. Sometimes, again, if you don't have structure, this is going to help you provide structure. Using your, 'first, we're going to do this, next, and then last', all those kinds of things.

Or take real pictures of your situation in your house. Show a picture of your child. Show a picture of the toilet, the reinforcement toy or the drink.

Have the social stories and the visual setting where it's real-life stuff. They can actually be able to relate. It doesn't have to be cartoonish or some of the icons that we see.

But we have parents decorate the bathroom. They have strobe lights going on, music. That might not be for your child because you know your child best and what their limitations are or where they may be struggling.

And you can even reward your child for going into the bathroom, even just stepping foot in there. And that's called behavior shaping. So if you know your child is just used to going to the potty and not ready to transition to the big toilet, then you can reward them for, good job for stepping into the bathroom! Good job for sitting on it! You have to build up. You don't force them to do anything.

We talked about choosing underwear. If your kiddo loves Marvel or Spider-Man, take that as an advance. This is big-boy underwear. Same thing with my daughter. Loved Disney princesses. We got those panties. And she just knew she was hot to trot.

And we talked about choosing rewards and how to do it and what not to do. Do not promise them Disney World. Make sure you're picking out rewards that are going to be highly motivated for them. Some people say bubbles. Some people say stickers.

But if they're doing bubbles and stickers during the day for other things, again, you got to make sure that you're doing it and it's a bathroom reward only. Taking parent time. It's going to be stressful. Just try to do one thing at a time.

And in regards to how your home is going to look like, like I said, some people spread plastic all over the floor. They have a little section where they have a potty seat.

One parent actually had the potty seat in the kitchen. And unfortunately, it was a little rough because when it was time to transition the child to the regular toilet, he refused. And because it is so routine, he only wanted to go to the bathroom on the potty in the kitchen all the time. So that took a lot of work. But just to give you an idea.

All right, so I'm going to stop real quick and then get through the rest of these slides because I know we're coming to the end soon. Any questions? Or comments?

STACY PHILLIPS: I'm just checking now. I don't think so. But Jen did also share Social Story link. And thebump.com has potty training books. We love social stories. I've made dozens of them over the years that really helped for my son.

And now we've kind of graduated to other means. But those are awesome. If you haven't already seen them, definitely check out this website that Jen shared.

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: I'll check it out, too. Like I said, there's just so many things out there. And you've got to just pick and choose things that's going to be comfortable for your family and your child.

Everything I'm telling you on here may or may not work for you. But I'm just hoping that you take what you need from it and add it and provide some structure, OK?

So what we're going to do is we're going to make sure that we're picking that special potty time. Toy, again, if it's a tablet, please put a timer to it. If it's a Hot Wheels or something, like a toy, put a timer to it.

Now, remember, keep in mind, you're drinking, having a drink, drink, drink. You're having happy hour. So we suggest, as far as when to take them, I'm going to say put the timer on 20 minutes. So while you're drinking and having them drink, rather, then once the buzzer goes off on a timer, then it's, let's go to the bathroom.

And I know this is later on in the presentation, but we want to try to make sure that you're not using open-ended questions, like do you have to go to the bathroom? Please don't ask them that question right now, at least for right now.

Let's try to go to the bathroom, or let's go. That means that you're doing it together. So again, you're going to watch what you're saying and how you're saying it.

So once that 20 minutes is up, ding, ding, let's go to the bathroom. Come on, little Johnny. We're going to sit on the toilet. So as far as the duration of sitting on the toilet, I would suggest between 5, 7, or maybe even 10 minutes.

So we'll say five to seven minutes because they've done drunk a lot of liquids. 20 minutes, ding, ding, ding. Sitting on a toilet. You're going to have your step stool. You're going to have your insert. You're going to have maybe it decorated if you wanted to, whatever's going on to occupy that 5 to 10 minute time frame.

Some kids like music. And they're sitting on there. You just don't want to sit them on it and just have it quiet. Just occupy them, even if you have to read a story to them.

So once that 10 minutes or their five to seven minutes is up, then the buzzer rings again on the timer. Let them drink again. Drink, timer, 20 minutes. Sit on the toilet. See if they go. If they have a success, then that's when you pull out your reward. Here goes a Cheez-It. Good job. Let's go drink.

You're kind of doing that process over and over again, OK? So you're increasing the special liquids. Like I said, it could be something that they haven't gotten, where you're treating them. It's a treat.

And you're going to close monitor. You're not going to just sit them on the toilet and then leave. You got to stay on it. And so again, I mentioned this, if they have success on the potty, make sure you're giving the reward right away. Don't wait.

And I mentioned about the accidents. Try not to ask, why didn't you tell me you had to--? That's too much. That's too much. Make sure you're saying, no. And show them what they need to do. If they have an accident, no, no. Let's take the clothes in here, as I mentioned earlier.

So if you don't have a schedule or a routine, please put something together. Make it fun. Make sure that you are continuing to bring everything, your rewards, when they're going to the bathroom, both for bowel movements or urine.

Get some support. I told you, I got your back. If you need to call me and scream, I'm here for you. This is a messy time.

So as Stacy mentioned earlier is that for those that their kids may be non-verbal, that may know sign language, there's the sign for T. You shake it back and forth. And then you have different visuals, OK?

So you have the icons. And so this is going to be important, especially if you're taking your child out in public. The first place I suggest that you do is take them to the bathroom.

And so I know a lot of times they're making the family bathrooms or the universal bathrooms. The signs are looking a little bit different these days because with the gender identity, things like that. So we want to make sure that you're using labels and pictures or whatever you have to do.

That's the way they're going to communicate because you have to show them. Even though they might not verbally express it, there's other ways of communication and showing them. And so these are the ideas for that.

So we mentioned about timers. So they have some cool things, I'm quite sure, now. But this is just to give an example. You can use an old-school timer. You can use a timer on your phone.

But the cool ones are the visual timers because that's going to show them. You can take a picture of maybe the reward or what they're working for once they have a success.

So if they're working for the ducky and put that timer on, ding, ding, ding, here's the reward. The same thing with the robot. You put the timer on. And every time they have a success, it'll open up a little bit more and more. And then you get the robot for a reward.

And then the timer in the middle. You have the visual where the red is. You can actually see the red coming to a close when the timer is up. So you can use these, utilize the timers at any time and point if you're trying to have structure and routine in your child's life.

So I know it's tough when it's not working. How do you know? Like I said, you've got to make sure that you're stepping back. And it's good to take breaks if you need to take some time off.

Like I said, the holidays are the best time to do it because maybe you're home with your kiddo. Make sure that you're modeling if you're co-parenting or you're showing the auntie or you're showing the other parent or the caregivers exactly what you're doing because you're going to need lots of patience.

So this is just a silly little clip here. It's just showing the difference between reinforcement and punishment. Of course, the cartoon shows the cupcake. They know if they press that button, the cupcake's going to come out. So if I press it so many times, the cupcake's going to come out.

And so the punishment is, when they press that button and they get hit, that's a punishment. But the whole idea of this is to show you, just like the rewards when I bring up the Cheez-Its, if they go to the bathroom, they get the reward. So if they're pressing that button, they're getting a cupcake.

OK, so once you have your step stool, you've got your insert, you've got your reward, you decorated the bathroom up, you've got your timer set to every 20 minutes, you're drinking lots of fluids in between, and then leading up to that point, if you want to add more routines on, that's all well and good. I know that my daughter, she always started brushing her teeth every time she would go to the bathroom. I said, that's even better.

So you're thinking of how to chain and add one more skills. And so you've got the pulling up and down the pants or the dresses or the skirts, the flushing, the washing hands, the drying hands. So these are all the different things that can come into play in addition and teaching your child independent skills.

So this is a visual schedule, a toilet training schedule for girls. And like I said, I apologize. These slides are boy and girl. So not to offend anyone, but you get the drift.

So it gives an example of each step. Some families have them in the bathroom taped up because it shows the different steps each time. Pulling down the pants, pulling up, flushing, wiping.

And again, this can be put at the school. This could be after school. This can be something that can be carried with your kids, that they can carry. And here's the same thing with the boys.

So one of the questions is, do boys sit or stand? And we suggest that they sit for right now because again, when I talked about the step stool and making sure that they're planted and they're comfortable-- because you don't know if a bowel movement is going to come out. So that's why sitting is a little bit more important.

But if your kiddos are able to maybe mimic maybe a sibling or maybe the parents-- because I know I had my daughter in the bathroom quite a few times-- but that's fine. I heard some folks say, hey, we'll do the Cheerios for the boys to try to chase the Cheerios in there to help them aim. I mean, whatever you guys come up with, whatever is fine for me as long as in the beginning, that we suggest that they sit.

Again, mentioning about the hand-washing routine to add on to the toilet training routine. And so these are the steps to do that.

This link right here, it has some resources on there, some really helpful resources. I am going to admit that it has not been updated in quite a while. But what's on there is very, very useful.

And so I think Jen or someone can put that in the chat. But you can print out some visual schedules. And they even have the little potty training guides. And they have it in different languages. And they even have little videos and things like that on here.

OK, so again, for the folks that may be concerned about their children using their words and being nonverbal, not being able to express themselves verbally, when? How? Like I said, try to avoid yes or no questions because it's too open-ended. It's hard for them to determine yes or no.

They're just mimicking. They're trying to develop their language. And even if they don't have the verbal language, it's even better for you to show them instead of asking them to say it.

And I did mention earlier to make sure that you're taking them to the bathroom instead of saying, do you have to go? Again, that's another open-ended question. And change it to, it's time to try. Or let's try to go. Because you're doing it together.

Just quickly, appropriate language for body parts. This is a tough time. And I'm just going to say, generations, old school, they didn't want us using the proper words for our parts. But using the proper words for your body parts is going to be important because of safety. It creates boundaries, body awareness, and especially during puberty time, you know?

So these are going to be important. So if you have nicknames, what if you really have a cat and you're talking about something else? You want to be straight up with the language you're using, even if it's a religious thing or whatever your culture is or whatever your rituals are.

I'm not impeding or saying that you can't. But we're just suggesting this because we want our babies to be safe. So we just want to make sure we're using appropriate language.

So let me see. I'm looking for time. I know it's 1:43. So is there any other questions or any comments before I go to night training? Because the night training is going to be pretty much fast. It doesn't really have as much as the day training. But I want to make sure I'm addressing any questions.

STACY PHILLIPS: Thank you, Icylee. This is Stacy. I don't see any questions in the chat. But now is your chance if you have a burning question and someone wants to ask it since we're pausing here for a moment. Is there any--

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: Or we can wait until after because I know we're getting ready to wind up.

STACY PHILLIPS: OK.

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: All right, so we've talked about different approaches, making sure that you're identifying the characteristics again. Who's your support system? Are you communicating with the teachers?

Potty training starts at home. Making sure you have timers. Is your child a picky eater? Do you need to get clearance from the doctor? All this stuff is important leading up to the actual training. So I'm hoping that you see the way that this is flowing.

So the night training, we're going to approach it as if your child is potty trained during the day. Yay, we did it. Now for night training.

So when you know that your child has everything down pat during the day, then towards the night, you want to try to start minimizing the liquids. What time are you giving them liquids up until?

Some people are like, oh, I've got to have a glass of water next to their bed. OK, they're not going to die of thirst. But you want to start shutting the liquids down a little bit early, making sure you're taking them to the bathroom a little bit before they go to sleep.

And actually-- I know people don't love this part-- but yes, you have to get up. I suggest that you get up maybe once or twice at night to take them to the bathroom. And if you do, make sure the lights are dim, the temperature is right. You're not using a whole bunch of words. And there's not a whole bunch of conversation.

I used to just open up the door for my daughter and carry her and put her on the potty. She's half asleep. And I'm just like, I hear tinkle, tinkle. And I'm doing everything else. And this is to the point where I just had to open the door and snap my fingers as time went on. And she just got up, because our bathroom's next to her room.

So just avoid that. And if they are dry through the night, it's great to be able to reward them when they wake up. Great job for being dry. Good job.

And so there's a couple of things on clothdiaper.com, where I mentioned the waterproof bottoms. You can get the covering on what you see in the picture there. I had got the mattress, like if they're sleeping by themselves.

And I know some babies are still in the bed with their parents. And I'm not going to go there. [CHUCKLES] That's another story for another day.

But when if the child is independently in their bed, you can get protection for the mattress. And can put that protective that's over top of the fitted sheet. And you just take that, spread it, and tuck it in between, over top of the fitted sheet.

But this is the time that you can use Pull-Ups. But if you're transitioning and not using Pull-Ups at night, then you can use the panties and the waterproof bottoms, too.

Yeah, so just remembering Pull-Ups are diapers, too. I always keep saying that. And then both are pretty much the same thing.

Just to quickly review. So you're going to commit three to five days at home with support. So in your case, it could be a weekend. It could be the holidays coming up. It's no pressure. You've got to decide, have a conversation with everybody that's on your team.

And you're having them drink lots and lots and lots of fluids if they can. Like I said, I don't know your child. You know your child best. And your doctor can be able to give you clearance.

If they're able to sit, once they sit between, I'm going to say five to seven minutes, maybe 5 to 10, you're occupying with toys. You've got your stool. You've got your insert that sits in the toilet. If you're watching videos and you're passing time, put a timer to that.

So every 20 minutes, you're having them drink. You're going to the bathroom. If you have a success, give them their reward.

So as your child has more success, you're going to increase the time in between every 30 seconds. So what that means is the more that they're getting a hang of it and they're putting two and two together, then you can start, when they're making connections with their rewards and them having success, you can start stepping back.

So you're going to increase to every hour after they start making connections. So maybe we were doing, what, 20 minutes. So maybe you can do 30 minutes. You could probably start doing 45, an hour and just start stepping back as they're starting to get it.

And so it's OK to have potty breaks in between the time. But get right back to it. And just, lastly, kids that are on the spectrum and in general sometimes need to be brought to the bathroom and reminded. And this could go on, like Stacy had mentioned that her child, it took a while. They were still in Pull-Ups or whatever.

And the same thing. My daughter started wetting the bed. And I'm like, oh, my goodness. And then she gets her period on top of that. I'm like, Lord. [CHUCKLES] So we just have to be patient.

And so lastly, here is just a list of resources. They have the Maria Wheeler book, which is a good toilet training book. Let me see. I have it right here if you guys are able to see. Hopefully you can see.

Great, great book-- Maria Wheeler book. And so these are other links. Cloth Diaper's on here, where you can get the plastic pants maybe in a bigger size if your kiddo's a little bit more on the heavy side. And there's other little clips in addition to what's been put in the chat.

So after that, I hope that I had answered some questions and I filled in a lot of areas of concern or anything that you had. But thank you. That's all I have.

STACY PHILLIPS: Thank you so much, Icylee. If anyone has questions, now is your time. Also, in the chat, I just dropped the link for the evaluation form. We do ask that you fill that out.

Everything that we do at the Institute On Disabilities is grant funded. And we have to collect data. So that shouldn't take you long. Rebecca says thank you so much.

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: I do have one more tip.

STACY PHILLIPS: Yeah.

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: So when I mentioned about your kiddos going to the bathroom in public, I had suggested if the automatic flushers, you can get a sticky note and cover them because I know sometimes it can be very, very hard for kids. And adults, I'm like, you flushing again? That gets on my nerves. So that's just a little tip.

[LAUGHTER]

STACY PHILLIPS: I love that tip. I remember that from last time. My son jumps out of his skin every time he hears that. It's so loud.

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: Right.

STACY PHILLIPS: So lots of thank you's in the chat, Icylee. Nicole said this was such a huge help. Thanks so much. It was perfect timing right before Thanksgiving break.

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: Yes. Exactly. Please fill out the survey so we can keep doing this. Tell your friends. Tell the educators. All are welcome.

So we're going to be making sure to do this more frequently the more feedback we get of the need from you guys. As a parent, I got your back. And feel free to contact me any time.

STACY PHILLIPS: Thank you so much. This was great. And thank you, everyone, for being here on a Saturday. We appreciate you attending and sticking around. And great questions and comments today, too. Thank you.

ICYLEE BASKETBILL: Yeah, most definitely. Every time I do this training, it just brings back memories and--