Good evening, everyone. My name is Kathy Miller. And I am the Director of Supports and Services here at Temple University's Institute on Disabilities. I'd like to welcome you to our webinar, Calming the Chaos-- The Power of Prevention, Positive Behavior Support and Parent Coaching.
Before we start with our presentation this evening, I'd like to tell you a little bit about the Institute on Disabilities at Temple University. We are the University Center for Excellence in Developmental and Other Disabilities for Pennsylvania. And our vision is a society where all people are valued and respected, and where all people have the knowledge, opportunity and power to improve their lives and the lives of others.
We have been around for over 40 years. We sit at the College of Education at Temple University. And we have close to 40 projects that we are, at one time, working on. And this particular project, Competence and Confidence-- Partners in Policy-making for Family Leadership, really fits in nicely with our mission. Because our mission is always that we learn from, and work with, people with disabilities and their families in diverse communities, across Pennsylvania to create and share knowledge, change systems, and promote self-determined lives, so that disability is recognized as a natural part of the human experience.
So. Competence and Confidence-- Partners in Policy-making Family Leadership, which we fondly refer to as C2P2 Family Leadership, as I said, is brought to you by the Institute on Disabilities. And funding for this project comes from the Pennsylvania Developmental Disabilities Council. And again, we're so delighted that Becky Millspaugh, the Training and Consultant Specialist from the Montgomery County Intermediate Unit, will be speaking in just a few moments.
So a little bit about C2P2 Family Leadership. Again, inclusive education for nontraditional schools. This particular program is designed for families of students with disabilities, who are home schooled, educated in cyber charter schools, charter schools, private schools, and parochial schools. Not only are we addressing families, but we're also targeting administrators and staff within these settings, and welcome them to listen to our webinars.
The goal of this project is to create a network of family leaders who will work together with educators and administrators to champion inclusive practices for children with disabilities in the nontraditional school community. Project activities include webinars, such as this online leadership development training. We also offer free one on one parent consultation, with supports provided from Pennsylvania's Education For All Community for trained parent consultants. We have online resources that are available at our website. And we're very pleased to announce that we have a live session on May 7th at the Doubletree Suites in Plymouth Meeting, Pennsylvania, which you are all invited to attend. We'll talk about all these things in a little more detail, right now.
So. In addition to tonight's webinar, we have a number of archived webinars available to you that you can find on our website. Topics include, building safe and healthy relationships, talking about cybersafety-- how to keep your children safe. A beautiful program talking about understanding evaluation. We also have a webinar talking about community connection. How do you get enriched, engaged, and included in your community, for your child, or your family? Creating a vision for your child's future-- it's very important to really focus on where you want to go with your child. What is your vision for your child to be included in the community? We have a session on teamwork. How do you work together with the administrators and other people in the school? Your Child's Rights is a very popular one where you can learn all about the laws and regulations to support your child's education, and an inclusion session.
We had a Igniting Inclusion, which was given earlier last month. That has yet to be archived. But that will be archived and available soon. So please look on our website, or those webinars. As I mentioned briefly, May 7th, it is a Saturday, from 9:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. We will be holding a workshop at the Doubletree Suites. Space is limited, so I urge you to register, again, at our website. And speakers will include Nancy Ritchie from the Office of Developmental Programs, people like Becky Espanol, who will be talking about behavioral health services, David Gates, filling you in on different aspects of the Health Law Project that he represents. We will also have representatives from the Parent Education and Advocacy Leadership Center. And Pennsylvania's Parent Training Initiative and Rights to Education task force will be providing you with breakfast and lunch. And you are eligible to receive mileage and child care reimbursement.
So our registration deadline is April 25th. So I urge you all to get on the website and register for this very exciting session. It will be all about resources and identifying all of those resources that be providing supports and services for your child.
So I'd like to talk a little bit more about this one on one parent consultation. As I mentioned, it is free. And it is provided by Pennsylvania's Education For All Coalition-- parent consultants. These are parents who are very well versed in the different aspects of inclusive education and other areas that are important to children who experience special support needs. Our PEAC consultants can assist with locating sources and supports, helping you understand your child's rights. It may be something that you would want them to help you review your child's Individual Education Plan, that IEP, and/or an evaluation report.
Other things that the PEAC consultants can assist you with are strategies to support your child's inclusive education. You know, brainstorming together to come up with some suggestions and ideas for accommodations and supports for your child's individual needs. And I mentioned that Individual Education Plan meetings-- they can come into that as well. Support, again, can be offered in person, over the phone, or by email-- really what is most needed for you, and what is would be most convenient. So once again, going to that website. And you can see the website is on your screen below. You can come to that specific website, or just go to www.disabilities.temple.edu, and you'll see that is the Institute on Disabilities' website, and you can request a PEAC parent consultant form by just going online and completing the form.
In addition to the consultation that we offer, and these leadership development trainings via webinar, we also have online resources that are available to you. They would be listed on our website, as well as we have a C2P2 Family Leadership Facebook page. So this is a closed group page where you can feel comfortable to share your concerns, ask questions. And you can just click Join Group. You'll see that Facebook reference in the slide that is up on the screen right now. And your request will be accepted within a few days. And then you can post and read all of those comments.
So, if you have any questions about how to access the website and all the different resources, Cathy Roccia-Meier, who is our Family Education Coordinator, will get back to you, and give you some support to do that if you so choose to call her and ask her for some support. You see her voice-mail. We also have a TTY, a fax, and Cathy's email address is listed right on the slide. These slides will be available to you after our presentation this evening. So please feel free to take advantage of them and use them.
So, before I turn the program over to Becky, I would like to talk to you about a few housekeeping items. If you have questions about tonight's topic, you can type in the chat area. Click the button at the top right of your screen to open and close the chat panel. And type your questions. Just a note-- if you can make sure at the end-- or, excuse me, not the end-- the bottom of the screen, you'll see a number of options in a pull down box. One will say host, one will say presenter. It's best if you could please send any questions you have-- make sure that that little pull down box at the bottom says host and presenter. That will help us tremendously to answer any of your questions and concerns.
And, finally, one last housekeeping item. If you could take a moment after tonight's webinar to complete a brief evaluation, it will appear on your screen after we close the webinar. So please, it's a very short SurveyMonkey survey. But we would really appreciate if you would give us your feedback for future webinars. You can suggest how tonight's webinar was, how we can make this more accessible, better to you, and meet your needs. We greatly appreciate that.
So, this is what you've all been waiting for. Becky Millspaugh is going to talk a little bit more about her background, and talk about our very exciting topic tonight, Calming the Chaos-- The Power of Prevention, Positive Behavior Support, and Parent Coaching. So please help me welcome Becky.
Good evening. As Cathy was saying, my name is Becky Millspaugh. I do work in Montgomery County Intermediate Unit. And I specialize and work on the State Coordination Team for Positive Behavior, but I think the most important job I have is the job of parent. And my children help me become a better person every day. And hopefully, as we go through this together, you'll see some ways in which your children probably help you become the best parents that you can be.
Because we are talking tonight about analyzing behavior. So agenda is packed full. In this hour and some change, we're going to look at what we call the ABCs of behavior, the difference between behaviors due to compliance, processing, and skills deficits. And this is going to be really important information, because this will help you make better decisions as we start to look at your child's behavior just a little bit more closely.
We're also going to look at how to prevent problem behaviors before they occur, which, we know that those are the best times to try to stop some of the behaviors that may be causing some chaos in our family lives. And we're also going to look at how to change your behavior as the adult, in order to change your child's behavior. And how can we use some of these concepts that are above, there, across all the settings, by matching strategies to the behaviors that might not make your family life as calm as you would like.
There's a compelling case for analyzing your child's behavior, because, if you notice this analogy on the slide, a child's behavior is like an iceberg. There are things that you see at the surface-- you may see hitting, you may see screaming. You may see, maybe, some non-compliant behavior. You may be seeing that behavior, but underneath, there is a lot more going on in our children's lives.
There is that idea of wanting to be loved, of wanting to be satisfied. Of feeling, maybe, angry. Maybe being hungry. Having those feelings of self worth. Am I capable? There's a lot of things that go behind, and underneath, in this iceberg, for why our children are behaving the way they are.
So we want to recognize a range of behaviors, knowing that we have quite a few people in our audience who probably come from a wide range of experiences. So the reason why Cathy had asked you to make sure that the chat box has [INAUDIBLE] to host and presenters, we're going to ask you just two questions. And if you are so inclined, it would really help us so that we can make sure that this training meets your needs. If you can just say where, and what behaviors are the most challenging for your family, and I'll give you about a minute. If you can type that into the chat box, that way, as we go through, we can pull from those examples as we go along tonight.
Let me give you a couple more seconds to get those ideas down. All right. Thank you very much. If you have any others that you want to add, please do so as we go along.
I would like to think of behavior as an analogy. And maybe I was hungry, the time that I was thinking about this. Oops. I'm not quite sure why that moved, and I apologize. I like to think about behavior as an analogy. So you have a setting event, and if you look at that, that is the plate on which our sandwich sits. And if you think about the plate as a setting event, that's the condition that makes it possible for the behavior. So a setting event could be in the car. A setting event could be making dinner. So these are the conditions that make it possible for a behavior to occur.
I like to take it from the top to the bottom. So that top bun is the antecedent. And an antecedent is a specific set of events or conditions that spark a behavior to happen. So that could be, if you think about it, the first thing you see when you see the sandwich on the plate, right? It's the things that are happening before the behavior occurs.
The insides of the sandwich are the behaviors that occur in reaction to that antecedent. I'm going to give you an example of that, because sometimes, we might have more than one behavior.
The bottom of the bun is what occurs directly after the behavior. Now, sometimes that's referred to as the consequence. And we have to be careful with how we use the word consequence. So the consequence can be a predictor of that same behavior occurring again. So if that same set of circumstances occurred when that behavior happened, then the possibility of that behavior happening again is often due to what happens right afterwards, which is the consequence. And sometimes, we label those reinforcements, or we label those things that occur right after the behavior as punishment.
So that comes together in a nicely built sandwich, right. You have your antecedent, your behaviors, your consequence, all sitting on that plate of setting events.
So let's look at an example. So what could be a good example of using our ABC sandwich? I guess again, I was thinking-- I was very hungry around this time in the evening, and I was thinking about dinner time. So if we think about dinner time as being our setting event, the antecedent could be that everyone is finished and getting up from the table. So that's occurring during the regular dinner time routine. The behavior could be that I get up, push in my chair, carry my plate to the sink, and put my cup in the dishwasher. See how those behaviors-- it could be more than one-- are all in relationship to the antecedent.
Let's think about the consequence. So everyone's getting up from the table. I get up, push in my chair, carry my plate to the sink and put my cup in the dishwasher. Now, the behavior right after that is mom smiles at me and says, great job. Thanks for the help in cleaning up your dishes. You can have some TV time now. So that consequence that happened is actually a very positive thing. And say to yourself, hmm, I wonder if, under the same set of circumstances, would that behavior occur again? Would I get up and push in my chair, carry my plate to the sink, put my cup in the dishwasher, and most likely, it would.
So think about those ABCs. It sounds like it's very complicated, but it actually really isn't. What is happening, what behaviors happen in reference to that condition, and then, what is the consequence. So let's look a little bit further, because that could say, all right, well, that does make sense.
There's also the piece that holds that sandwich together. I'm going to keep that same analogy going. So what holds all of that behavior is the function. It's why a behavior occurs. I always think of that as the ketchup, the mustard, the mayonnaise.
So the purpose that a behavior serves-- is what most people, if you've ever had a functional behavior assessment done for your child, you will hear the word function being used. But it's important to understand the purpose a behavior serves are those things that are more internal. It's what is actually going on in that child's head.
So if we think about it, a purpose of a behavior serves what I call three different areas. Number one, to get something. Now, it could be peer attention. It could be adult attention. It could be to get something they really want, like a toy, an item. The second purpose a behavior could serve is to avoid, delay, or escape something. So, I really don't want to do the dishes tonight. That kind of function of a behavior. It could be that I want to avoid adults. It could be that I want to avoid peers. Many of our kids who have social issues really have some of the function of the behavior to avoid social interaction.
There's a third piece. And that third piece is neurologically based. And one might argue that it could be the same as to get or to avoid. But these are the sensory impacts. And these are often so neurologically based, that it's not necessarily the conscious decision of a child to know, or even perceive, that there is a reason for why their behavior is occurring. And that's why it's incumbent upon us as adults to understand that there are sensory impacts, particularly for our kids who have any disability that's neurologically based-- that some of the behaviors that we might be seeing might be a child seeking sensory input from the environment, or trying to avoid some of the sensory experiences from the environment.
And we're going to take this understanding, and we're going to develop it a little bit further. So let's look at the example I had before. Again, everyone's getting finished and getting up from the table. I get up, push in my chair, carry my plate to the sink, put my cup in the dishwasher, and then mom smiles at me and says, great job, thanks for cleaning up your dishes. You can now have some TV time. If the function of my behavior is I want mom's attention, it doesn't matter if I got TV time. Mom was happy with me. She was smiling at me.
So sometimes, I think that we try to simply behaviors by saying let's give our kids something, in return for something that they do. And for our kids who actually wanted to get TV time, and that was their function-- they wanted to get TV time-- then that can definitely increase the chance that I'm going to do all those positive behaviors that you see. But if the chance is that I want my mom's attention, then getting that positive attention, with or without getting that TV time, is probably going to get me to repeat that behavior.
Here's where this comes into play. When-- and I've had this happen-- when I have had my own children either become sensory overload, or they had behaviors that were occurring, if I start thinking in this way, it helps me not to respond emotionally, particularly when you might be tired, or maybe in this case, hungry, since I actually used an analogy of the sandwich the entire time. But thinking about the sandwich can help you pull this together and think this through, particularly when there might not be a calm time in your family life that you would like.
I wanted to go through understanding sensory impacts just a little bit more, because we really need to understand the difference between a meltdown, which is really that sensory stimulation issue, and a display of temper, which we typically call temper tantrums. We're going to start with meltdown. We have all felt, in our lifetime, overwhelmed. A meltdown is a reaction to feeling overwhelmed. And many of our children feel overwhelmed, particularly because they are trying to navigate this world with a disability. And that, in and of itself, can lend itself to sensitivity towards meltdown.
For some kids, this can happen when there's too much sensory information to process. You can think of it yourself as maybe even going into a loud place, even parties, which are meant to be positive, can sometimes be too much sensory information. A tantrum, that even a child who had a display of temper, can trigger a meltdown, because often what we'll see in these meltdowns is a fight or flight response, where that kicks in, and that extra sensory input actually can cause some of our children to do repetitive behaviors-- repetitive yelling, repetitive crying, lashing out or running away. When that particular reaction is occurring, then that could be a time that you can decide this is not necessarily a tantrum. And we'll see this in the example.
The difficulty with meltdowns that really are prone to sensory issues, is typically it ends in fatigue, or when the sensory input in the environment is actually changed or reduced. It's not necessarily going to be something that the child can or cannot control. That's why it's so important to recognize when it is a meltdown. In the video that we're going to share with you, we are going to see a child who got into a play situation with his sister, and got upset when she chose to be a different character than who he expected her to be.
And you're going to see that there's a lot of different changes that occur that make it not a tantrum. So I want you to listen for the repetitive repeating of what he wanted to occur that didn't occur. I also want you to listen for the times that he is-- it's full of-- you can hear the overwhelmedness in his voice. And it looks like-- bear with me on this one. We're going to have to do it this way.
-[INAUDIBLE] [INAUDIBLE] [INAUDIBLE]
-Can you take some deep breaths with me? Can you take some deep breaths with me?
-OK. I'll hold you.
-[CRYING] Hold me. [INAUDIBLE] wants to be mine. [INAUDIBLE] wants to be mine. [INAUDIBLE] want to be [INAUDIBLE] wants to be [INAUDIBLE]
OK. So you can see that the way to calm that meltdown was actually to remove some of the things that were occurring. The playing stopped, mom worked with her child on using some of the coping skills he had already been pre-taught. That is a meltdown. You can hear the repetitiveness. And he really did not have control at that time. Let's look at a display of temper. Because a display of temper and a tantrum is very different than what you're going to see in that meltdown. This can be an outburst.
And I know none of us in the audience have ever had a display of temper, so I'm just going to clarify it. An outburst that happens when a child, or person, is trying to get something she wants or needs. You might see yelling and crying or lashing out. But it's not going to be in the same way you saw in the meltdown. You're going to see a display of tantrum that the child does have some control over her behavior. And most likely, when you see in this example, her tantrum is likely to stop when she gets what she wants, or when she realizes she can't get what she wants. You're going to see that every time the mother comes into the room, the child will be throwing herself down onto the floor. And then watch what happens when mom is not in the room.
So you can see-- so you can see that there's a difference. There was some control over that. There was anger, for sure. The child clearly was not getting what she wanted. But it was very different than the sensory issues that the child in the first example was experiencing. And for some of us, and I say us, for some of us who have experienced those meltdowns, it can feel rather helpless, as a parent. And wondering what you can do to help your child regain that control. And that's what we're going to talk about next.
Of anything, this particular slide made the difference, not only in my practicing life-- because I am a special education teacher. This also made the biggest difference in how I parent. It's looking at behaviors differently. Obviously, our children have some disabilities that they are trying to actually overcome-- some of the major challenges that students and kids without disabilities do not have.
You have to think about some of these behaviors, particularly the most disruptive-- I'm seeing physical aggression. I'm seeing kids not maybe picking up social skills and running. I'm seeing crying as some of the behaviors in our chat box. We have to start looking at those possible problem areas in this order. Are there lack of skills, particularly in social skills, particularly in self-regulation? Are those skills our kids do not have yet?
The second area is, are there performance deficits? Processing deficits interfere with performance. And that's what we mean when we say performance deficits. These are only a small example of ADHD, autism, learning disabilities, anxiety disorder, and any combination in there and about there. Those performance deficits really make a difference. They are the things that we're going to have to think about, particularly when we think about meltdown.
And the last one, and in this order, is compliance deficit. This is when you feel fairly confident that your child is probably making a poor choice, and trying to test the limits. And to be quite honest with you, I have to pause myself before I jump to this last piece. You know, when you are first starting out as a teacher, and I think when I was first starting out as a parent, I will self disclose in saying that I might have jumped to the conclusion that a compliance deficit was definitely what I was seeing.
But I'm going to tell you-- I'm going to ask you to rethink that behavior. That's where we try to really look at taking over some of the chaos. We have to look at what is our child experiencing. So, then you're going to ask me, OK-- once I have actually figured that out, now what am I supposed to do?
Let's look at it. I would call it tapping. Because I can remember tap, and I can remember the sandwich is ABC, I've got a pretty good way of actually looking at my child's behavior. So if it's a skill deficit, we have to teach that deficit. We have to teach the communication. We have to teach our kids the emotional knowledge of even recognizing within themselves that they're upset.
That is a coaching role. We talk about what your role is as a parent, what my role is as a parent. It's that coaching role. It's that piece right there. However, we have to be careful when we do skills deficit remediation, because we can't do it when the child is actually upset.
Let's look at performance deficits. We need to accommodate. One of the biggest things I had to accept was the fact that I love people. I love to go out to parties. But my daughter does not. That does not make her an unfriendly person. It just means that I have to think about what her processing is going to be like. And whether or not she's going to actually enjoy the same things I like to enjoy, which is being around a lot of people.
So you have to think about what those accommodations strategies are. If it means that you're only going to stay in a place for 10 minutes, 15 minutes, then that could be your accommodation strategy. But you're still doing experiences together as a family.
And then the last part, for that compliance deficit. Think about positive behavior management strategies. Because if we're wrong, and it was in compliance, it was actually performing-- if we do something on the positive end, trying to get our children to earn things, and be motivated to make appropriate choices, as opposed to punishment, then we have done no harm. That just means that as we go through and we start to see the problem behaviors of our children that might turn into some patterns, then we can actually start to go back into these areas and see if we were correct, and what we thought was going on with our children and the behavior.
Behavior is such a covert operation that anything that we do with our children, no matter how long they have been with us, we're always going to be guessing. It's always going to be one of those hypotheses based upon the best information we know. And if we can think of it through this kind of an organization, then you're right-- from someone who said mind reading. You have a structure now with which to mind read. See, you came to this training, and now you're learning how to read minds.
Let's look at some behavior events, and pull all of that information all together. Because that was a lot. We have the ABCs. So as you can see, the sandwich going across the top of that chart. We have the perceived function-- so we're looking at whether it's ketchup, mustard or mayonnaise that's pulling that behavior together. And then let's take a look at what we think might be the deficit. So that gives us a plan of action.
So let's start with the exact same antecedent. So I don't know about you, but sometimes getting the kids out of the door, even at this time in their age is a really difficult thing sometimes. So let's do leaving the house. So here's the antecedent. Mom says, let's go. It's time to leave for school. And the behavior is the child hides under the bedroom until the parent comes to find her. And the consequence is, the parent raises the voice to remind again. Come on, it's time to go. The child laughs and then runs down the stairs to the car.
It looks like there was another example of someone who had some children who liked to run as well, when I saw that in the chat. So we have to look at ourselves and say, hm. Is there a possibility-- and remember, this is always going to be a guess, but it might be based upon some good science there-- is there a possibility that the child was waiting for the parent to come, waiting for the parent to raise their voice, and then realized, oh, now it's time, and was trying to gain the attention of the adult.
But then we look at it-- is there a deficit? Well, if this actually stops you from getting out the door on time to school, it could be. And it could be possibly compliance. Because the child does know, with that extra reminder, how to come down the steps and get into the car.
So let's look at the next one. So again, let's go. It's time to leave for school. The behavior is, the child stays in bed and is crying. The parent raises the voice again. Come on, it's time to go. This time, the child cries harder, and is not moving from the bed. Before we start thinking about this child is willfully not complying, we have to ask ourselves, what is holding that behavior to that setting event?
So what is that perceived function? We have to ask questions, or maybe, look back to see if there was any kind of pattern, especially for some of our children who may not be as verbal. Are the children trying to avoid the task of going to school? Maybe there's something going on at school. Are they trying to avoid an adult? Is there a possibility there might be peer trouble?
That's when you start putting on your detective hat. And you start asking the questions, either of the child, or if the child can't answer, of the environment that this child is in. So it could be the day care. It could be the teacher. It could be the job coach. Asking the questions to try to find out what is holding that behavior to that setting event.
And the other deficit that you may want to look at is, is this performance? Is this anxiety? And what kind of accommodations then, do we have to look at for getting that child comfortable enough to leave out the front door?
Let's do one more. And this time, there are question marks. So I want you to think in your head what you think might be the perceived function that is holding that behavior together in that setting event. And what do you think the deficit would be? So here we go.
Mom says, let's go. It's time to leave for school. The child is on the bed-- you can visualize this-- with one shoulder stuck in the neck spot. The parent raises their voice. Come on, it's time to go, to remind again, and the child says, I'm up but I can't, I need help.
Let's think about what that perceived function is. The fact that the child said, I can't, I need help. I need help. The function of the behavior is getting your attention. And getting attention is not a bad thing, because in this particular case, I would hope they would, because I would not want them going down the steps, right? Because it's very difficult to walk down the steps when you're stuck in your shirt.
Is there a deficit here? Probably. And it's a very small one to fix, right? It's really working on getting that shirt in. And many of us would just normally go in there and just teach that skill, right? Or is it a performance deficit? We would get a shirt that was maybe a button down shirt, so we wouldn't have to worry about the head getting stuck in the neck, or the shoulder getting stuck in the neck.
So you can see how you can start to look at your child's behavior in a little bit of a different way. So it's not just the ABCs-- the antecedent, behavior, consequence. It's what holds that behavior together, which is the function. And what kind of deficit might we have to address?
It's a really interesting relationship. Because when you can understand which function pulls that behavior together, and where that behavior is served, you can adapt or modify the antecedent events. So you can change what happens right before the behavior typically occurs. And when you can do that, you will actually impact the behavior. So the behavior will change. It will not stay the same. And then you'll reinforce differently, until you get the behavior that you want to see.
So that's that important piece of really thinking about why that behavior might be happening under that set of circumstances. And then looking to see what kind of skills, performance, or compliance deficits might you need to address. And that's a really important way of thinking about behavior.
We always say it is easier to prevent a behavior from occurring than to deal with it after it has happened. And boy, isn't that true. I think that when you think about creating successful family environments, which is important for all deficit categories-- so if your child has a skill performance or compliance deficit, or several, if you've been thinking about them as we've been talking-- creating successful family environments includes predictable, consistent, positive, and safe environment. And the question becomes, how do we get a predictable, consistent, positive and safe environment? How do we create that?
One of the first things-- now, remember, we're on the bun. If you can see on my slide, we have the top part of the bun. One of the first things we want to look at-- and it looks like some people are sharing that through the chat-- thank you-- are areas for structuring routines. These are important for skill and performance deficits that you might see happening in an event.
So getting up in the morning. You saw one that I gave an example of getting out the door. Meal time. Bed time. Homework. This is an important one-- procedures for when there are family visitors. Particularly if you have children who have some social deficits. What is it that you're going to expect them to do when family visitors come, and how will you help the family visitors also be able to interact with your children? Transitioning into and out of the car. Using the bathroom. Organizing dirty laundry. Putting clean laundry away. I hope that happens, but it doesn't always happen in our household. Bedding and following curfews. Oh, the big one. Technology usage.
And it's not just about setting rules. You're actually teaching self-regulation. And that might be very important for some of our kids who have performance deficits as well. That self-regulation, of being able to say, this is when I'm going to use my technology, and now my technology is off. So when you structure those routines, because it's a routine that's done consistently, that is going to be the time that you're going to be able to stop some of those behaviors.
The important piece is thinking about teaching new rules and routines. I am equally guilty to say, look, I know I have taught you this. But did I review it for at least two weeks? Particularly for our younger children and children with the skill deficits that we know because we recognize that. And have I focused on what I wanted, and avoided those negative statements?
That's really important, because in order for something to become part of a routine, it has to be that fluent. Have I used pre-correction prior to transition to remind the chlid-- so as I'm teaching this new skill, and I know that we're getting ready to be in that setting event-- did I pre-correct and let them know, remember, that this is what we're going to do when we go to grandma's house? Did I actually do that? That's going to be really important as part of your antecedent. Those strategies that you try to put in place before behavior might typically occur.
Did I conduct boosters? You know, when schedules change-- and I know as adults we have this thing-- when schedules change, it's hard to get back into our routine. And so if you were teaching a new routine and then schedules changed-- I don't know, maybe snow days really kind of threw out the schedule, then things became unstructured. That's the idea that you go back and you conduct those boosters.
So instead of determining whether it's going to be compliance, you actually want to conduct a booster. Go over what the skill is that you want the child to actually be showing. And then you can determine whether or not it's compliance. Again, trying to make sure that we're not jumping to the conclusion of compliance, when it could be both a skill or performance.
I really like this one because this could definitely fit any family. Eliminating that negative script and focusing on what you want your child to do. Because you can see the mom who comes and says, that's disgusting. Look at the apple cores on your bed. You live like a pig. And you can see that the child is covering her head with a magazine. All she hears at that time is the emotion behind what the mom is saying. She is not necessarily hearing the message.
Look at the after. Apple cores belong in the garbage. That's an action statement. And there you see the child looking down and hopefully picking up those apple cores and getting ready to put them in the garbage.
So by even eliminating that negative script and really thinking about how you're talking to your own children, you can really get them focusing on what you want them to do, as opposed to what you don't want them to do. Again, as soon as that emotion picks up-- our children are human. They're going to pick up the emotion and they will totally forget what we are trying to get them to do in the first place, which is probably a good idea, because apple cores in bed is not very good.
All right. So let's look at what happens when no matter how good of a routine you have set, no matter how well you have taught, there are triggers that might be starting to agitate your child. We have to start thinking about those triggers in terms of some of the performance deficits. There are triggers that could neurologically, without the child even recognizing it sometimes, be causing some agitation. So what you want to do is you want to remove or reduce the importance of the trigger.
And many of us do this already. You have an argument between two siblings. I'm seeing that example of behavior in the chat. An argument between two siblings. And you decide that the ball is going to go into time out. Because the ball is not doing what it's supposed to. It should not be bouncing around in the house. So you're removing or reducing the importance of the trigger, because the ball is in time out. You're not putting the children in time out. You're putting the ball in timeout.
Providing cues for an alternative behavior. This would be the time to really cue in for a behavior that you have taught. This is the time to do it. Because just as the child is starting to show some agitation, this would actually let you know whether or not the child did actually put that as part of their routine.
Being very clear and calm in giving directions. Very much like the cartoon we just saw. Be very clear. Be very calm. Because if you're calm, the chances of your child mirroring you is very high.
Respond to the negative behaviors in a positive manner. I don't know if any of you have children who have incredible debating skills. But if you do, this is the way we handle this. When there's a [INAUDIBLE], turn it into a positive manner. And try very hard not to take this behavior personally, particularly if it's sensory related. I remember having to leave a concert because it was too loud. And I found myself taking that behavior personally. And I had to tell myself, stop. This is not. It's not about you. This is about a sensory overload that happened with your child.
And so we have to think about how we're going to handle these triggers, because our kids, who have performance deficits, are going to be hit the most. Because they're going to have systems that are much more sensitive to the environment. And those triggers are definitely happening in the environment.
So let's look at setting up consequences ahead of time. And you're going to say, wait a minute, Becky. You didn't change the antecedent. You still have the top of the bun at the top of the slide. And it's really about, particularly for our kids who have anxiety issues, setting up those consequences ahead of time. And this is important for all the deficits that you have.
Now, what happens when I follow the rules? And what happens when I break a rule? Particularly with our kids who have anxiety, they may not be happy that they're going to lose their phone for a day or two weeks or one week, depending on what the behavior was with the technology violation. But they know that that is to be expected because you set it up ahead of time.
This really helps our kids also with compliance deficits. Because then, they start to realize, do I really want to make that choice? How much is it worth to me, before they actually do the behavior. It also helps us to stay much more calm in the situation, because we don't get ourselves in a situation where we're arguing with our kids. Because, look, this is how we set it up. These are the rules. And we make it about the rules, not about making us unhappy, or happy. Because if our child is trying to avoid us, and I know that happens during those wonderful preteen years-- if our child is trying to avoid us, making us mad is not going to be very powerful. But if you make it about the rules-- remember that when this happens, we had already agreed upon that this is going to be the consequence-- then your child is more likely to follow and make a better choice in that behavior.
So it's important that when you have a consequence, that it is most effectively related to the rule. So losing your phone when you didn't put your laundry away may not be related to that rule of technology usage. You want the intent to be instructional in nature. And you want to preserve the child's dignity. This is the difference between putting in a corrective consequence versus a punishment.
So you could remind them of the rule, and just have this as part of your repertoire. You can give a warning. You can have an action plan. Remember that in the comic strip, the mother wanted those apple cores put away. And the action plan could be that she continues to say, apple cores belong in the garbage, until the child definitely wants her out of the room, and then takes the apple cores and puts them into the garbage.
So that action plan is something that you want the child to do immediately after the behavior is occurring. Now remember, you're going to do these types of strategies while you're still in the antecedent, before the child is showing increasing signs of agitation. And you're going to practice that behavior. And when the child does the behavior, you're going to find, even though it took you a long time to get the child to do it, you're going to actually thank the child. Because you're going to make it about the behavior and not about the amount of time it took.
So let's look at that consequence strategy one more time. The number one consequence strategy is to pay more attention to the behaviors you want than the behaviors that you don't want. One of the things you might want to try is turning on your recorder on your phone while you're interacting with your kids. And just hear how many times you correct behavior, versus how many times you point out great things that are going on, or give that positive attention. Because I found that very enlightening when I had done that.
It really takes a lot of energy to pay more attention to the behaviors you want, because your brain is automatically picking up on the behaviors that you don't want. And that's biological. So think about that as a strategy, particularly if we're trying to calm the chaos.
Consequences versus punishment. And this is a pretty good example I've seen over the years. So the rules-- remember, that in order to deliver an appropriate consequence, you really have to have a rule in place. If you don't have a rule in place, then this is the time when you start looking at the behaviors of child might be doing and that might be a time to establish a rule.
So let's look at the rules. All food must stay on the table. I don't think anyone in our audience is going to argue with that one. That's a good rule. So a consequence for a child that does not keep the food on the table-- maybe the green beans come rolling off the table, accidentally of course-- the consequence could be to pick up the food that fell on the floor. That's logical. Hopefully the dog did not get to it first because then it's hard to teach that correctively. But that is a logical consequence, is it not?
Let's look at punishment. Punishment could be apologize to the entire dinner party for messing the floor during dinner. Despite the fact that that could be overkill on dropping the green beans, the fact of the matter is that is shaming. And now the child just remembers the feeling of embarrassment, and doesn't remember that when the food falls off the table, you need to pick up the food. Punishment will not change the behavior, but that corrective consequence would. Or, automatically, when the food rolls off the table, accidentally of course, then the child automatically gets onto the floor and then picks it up, which is actually what you want.
Let's look at the second rule. And this one's a big one. My goodness, this is a big one. If you want to speak, wait until mom or dad or grandma or aunt or uncle has finished talking with another adult. A consequence could be, after multiple interruptions and reminders, to wait one minute before speaking. Or, for some of our younger kids, I've actually started with a fist of five, and when all those fingers are gone, then they can start to talk.
And I usually use that consequence only for a way to teach self regulation. In fact, one of my students used to count by five himself. When I said please don't interrupt, he would literally start to count by five. And I had to work really hard to continue talking so that I could use that as a corrective consequence and not smile or laugh. But that's a consequence. Because what you're doing is you're helping your child learn self regulation.
A punishment, however, would be to sit that child on the front step for the entire time that the visitor spends at the house. So now we're excluding the opportunity for that social interaction because when the child is interacting they're interrupting. There's nothing to be learned by that. In fact, after a certain amount of time, the child's going to actually forget what he was supposed to, or what she was supposed to, be doing.
So you can see that that punishment is a little bit-- it provides more emotional involvement as opposed to the corrective consequence, which looks more at skill building. And that's something we have to think about as we start to put together how we are going to react.
Some important information about using planned ignoring-- a lot of us use it, particularly if we suspect that a child is trying to get our attention. And we try to give attention to when the child is actually doing the right behaviors. However, you have to think about this. You want to consider this for children with performance or skills deficits. If there is hunger involved, or a child is trying to escape a task, or they're trying to communicate a need, that's not the time to do planned ignoring.
A child may not be communicating in an appropriate way. But if you suspect that a skills deficit, or a performance deficit, is coming into play, don't use planned ignoring. Because that behavior that you're actually seeing might be your child trying to communicate with you. And we have to look at that and interpret that in a different way.
For children with compliance deficits, you might need to add your attention in with other reinforcers. For example, other activities that the child might be wanting to do, or other desired items. So, sometimes, if it's a compliance deficit, that planned ignoring won't work either. So just something to think about. If the behavior is not changing when you're using planned ignoring, you might need to look a little further. Get into our sandwich. And really look at how the behavior is changing or not changing when we're trying to ignore the behavior.
What happens when, despite the fact that you try to reduce the trigger, you try to do something to the environment so that your child doesn't get overwhelmed, and then the child starts to show some pretty significant agitation? What can you do?
Well, now you see that I do not have skills deficits on that chart. Because when a child is agitated is not the time to start working on skills. That means that, given what happened in this setting right now, the child is exhausted, or you have exhausted everything that could be skills related, and now there's agitation.
And we're looking at consequences now, in that upper right hand corner, but not consequences as in, what we're going to do with the child. It's a behavior that happens right after. So what are we going to do that might change.
So if we look at performance deficits, one of the things that we can do, both for performance and compliance, is to recognize that there is a problem. If you're using planned ignoring, stop. This is the time to say, I see there is a problem. And actually label it. So that our kids actually get used to knowing it's OK to have a problem, because we're going to problem solve. And use that active listening. This is a time-- if your child is venting, hear it out. Because now you can determine whether or not you need to do things that are more performance deficit related, or compliance.
Help your child label the emotion. And I say this with the understanding that other people, besides us parents, are going to be working with our children. And it's far easier for someone to come to a child who's having a hard time and saying, I feel sad. I'm really frustrated right now. It's a lot easier to have someone want to help your child than if they're throwing a chair and pretty much communicating the same thing, but not having that emotional label.
That is going to be an important piece. And that's what you're going to want to use. You're not going to say, how are you feeling. You're going to say, at this point in time in agitation, I see that you are upset. I see that you are frustrated. You're going to start to use those sort of emotional labels.
On both ends, on both compliance and performance, you're going to reduce the situational demands. Because when you reduce the situational demands in compliance, you are actually not going to have that power struggle. And you're going to have to deal with that behavior when the child has started to calm down. Because this is when you start to see more of the anger.
You're also going to look at performance deficits of offering choices. Now those choices need to be somewhat similar. It's not, do you want to sit down here and eat those peas, or do you want to go to bed? It was, do you want to use the fork or the spoon to eat the peas? So those choices need to be closer to what's occurring.
So when you look at your compliance deficits, you say, OK. What are other things that adults can do? Well, interrupting strategies are also very good strategies. In fact, some of my students used to think that I loved the outdoors. That is not the case, if anyone knows me.
But when I started to see some agitation, particularly between social issues, I would look at the window and say, oh my goodness, I thought it was supposed to rain today. It doesn't look like there's a drop in the sky. And the kids would all look over to the window. And then they would forget what they were starting to argue about. So we have found a lot of different interrupting strategies. Sometimes it's changing the radio station. Whatever works for you.
This is to help defuse the agitation before a child starts to lose control. You have a very small window of opportunity. But these are some things that you can try-- remember, the behavior of the adult changes, and the behavior of the child follows.
This is one of my favorite cartoons, from Calvin and Hobbes. And you can see the tiger saying, never in the history of calming down, has anyone ever calmed down, by being told to calm down. There have been a lot of times that I have used those same words, but I think I was telling myself to calm down. And so we have to think about, when a child is getting past that agitation, how are we going to handle it?
This is when the behavior gets challenging. This is where I'm seeing some of the descriptions of the behavior-- whether it's physical aggression, and it might be towards you. It might be toward others. Where you have some real anger that you might be trying to help a child come through. Or you might have a meltdown, that, no matter how much deep breathing you try to get your child to do, it didn't work.
So when these challenging behaviors occur, this is what disrupts family life. Because all of us can get agitated from one time or another. It's how we handle that behavior.
So if we look at performance deficits-- let's look at that, and then I'll go over to the compliance deficits. So when we're looking at performance deficits, we want to present a non-threatening posture. That is not the time when we stand with our hands on our hips. I am equally guilty of that. Especially when I see dirty laundry all over the floor. That is not the time. That non-threatening posture is our hands down by our side and pretty much open. That gives the idea that we're open to trying to solve this problem without saying anything.
Giving some distance. That personal space. For some of our kids, coming into a personal space can be seen as, really sensory stimulating, particularly for our kids with performance deficits.
Using a calm, even voice tone. Do you notice how that's just kind of woven through? And that's really hard to do, because some of the things that are occurring-- you're following that emotional roller coaster too. And you're trying to keep things under control.
Try to do as much with this. Respecting privacy as much as possible. If you can safely get your child from that area-- for example, if you're in a grocery store, in a public place, if you can get your child to the car without hurting yourself, that's the time you want to do it. You don't want people gathering around and really being part of a trigger that could keep your child from not being able to calm down.
Sometimes it could be respecting privacy. It could be asking family members to go to another room in the house, just to say, listen. We just need a little bit of time. A little bit of space. Remember, performance deficits-- we're really explaining a meltdown, aren't we?
We want to try to avoid escalating the situation and remain respectful. That doesn't mean we're going to be doing a lot of talking. We're just going to remain respectful. We're not going to be-- big sighs, like I can't believe-- once again, we're going to be late to such and such-- just try to remain respectful, so that when the child is able to pull themselves together-- because remember, if it's a performance deficit, and this is a meltdown, this is a neurological experience. And they may not even recognize what's going on.
So what you want to do is, you want to be able to remain respectful and be ready for when that child does start to recognize things in the environment, start to recognize you, and be able to start to process better-- that you will be ready for that time.
If you look at the second to the last, removing potentially dangerous objects-- remember. Remember that this could be a time when neurologically you're overwhelmed. And some of our kids are impulsive. And they may not even think. Things that become potentially dangerous objects could be pencils. Paperclips. Things like that. Just try to remove that as much as possible.
And then the last one is provide or give support or breaks to another adult. Now, I've been by myself. And I have actually had to use other supports. Try to find some support in your family life. And also recognize that when your child does challenging behaviors that occur over and over and over again, they get to this level of possibly hurting him or herself and you or anyone else-- remember that we have a lot of supports in our community.
And that's one of the things that we're going to ask you. If there's any questions that are coming down the chat, and you say, hey, where are some resources? We definitely have resources available. When you start to feel so helpless as a parent, because these challenging behaviors occur over and over to this level-- that's the time when it's OK. It would be totally appropriate, particularly if we're looking at performance deficits, to get additional help.
And that would not necessarily just be a webinar. If you've tried all of these behavior changes, and you've tried thinking about your child's behavior in a different way, it is totally appropriate to start looking at other support that you may need to help, when your child gets to this level of challenging behavior.
Let's look at the compliance deficits. So if you feel relatively confident that the child has pushed the limits, and then got upset that you were holding him or her to the limits, you might be dealing with compliance. Please, please, please, make sure that you have ruled out performance deficits. Because that's going to be an important piece.
Because if you look at compliance deficits, that non-threatening posture is the same time. You're giving that same personal space. And you're using a calm, even voice tone. This is hard. Because during compliance deficits, what you're going to get is a lot of anger, sometimes. And because our children are not having a meltdown, they are going to be able, very quickly, to argue with us. And we're going to have to think about, how do we want to handle that argument.
Again, that calm, even voice tone is going to be hard to maintain, but it's very critical. Because what you're showing is that your behavior, if it's compliant, your behavior is not going to change my behavior.
And I know this sounds like, well, they've already made their bed kind of analogy, but respect their privacy. Even if they are not thinking in that way, you respect their privacy as much as possible. You remove either them from the area, or you remove the attention from the area, particularly if the behavior seems to get bigger and bigger when there are more people around.
Present options for a child, particularly who is getting into the argument phase. Present those options and acknowledge cooperation. Those options have to be something that you can live with. And that's really important. And you want to really try to avoid escalating the situation, and remain respectful. This can be difficult, particularly when you suspect that this is compliance, and the child is choosing not to listen to what you're asking them, choosing not to follow the rules that you have done such a great job with training and teaching.
This is really difficult. It's really difficult to say, and we're not going to have this again-- and that could be the trigger that sets a behavior once again. That's really difficult, but very important. Because what you're showing your child when you use those kinds of strategies is that your behavior is not going to get you what you think you want. My behavior is not going to change.
You want to make sure that you set clear limits. And this can be very difficult, because I tell you what-- some of our children are very, very good. I mean, they could be out there with lawyers and maybe someday that's what they end up becoming, because they are so good at the debates. But we have to make sure that we set those clear limits. And we have to follow through. And we have to be consistent. If you really feel it's a compliance deficit, you have to be consistent. So whatever you decided was the rule on September 8th is the same rule that you're going to follow October 31st, even though there might be some unstructured events during that time.
And again, you want to remove potentially dangerous objects. Because, even though this is a compliance deficit, if the anger gets enough, it could be that they could lose control at that time. And then you also want to try to use those distracting statements. Remember, the distracting statements are not good for kids that you suspect are having performance deficits. And the reason why is because that verbiage, those words, those distractions, could actually be adding to the trigger that comes from the environment.
So we kind of have to think about, really, when we get a child to the point where their behavior is becoming out of control, where that behavior falls. And that's why it was so important to explain all of that as we are going through the presentation. Because at this point in time, in this example, we are looking at children who have really lost control over their behaviors.
After the challenging behavior occurs, you're going to get what we call a recovery period. And what can you do as the adult? Because during that recovery period-- you have to remember that the child has lost control of themselves. They've lost control. There's a lot of things that could have been said, or might have been physically even done towards another. And now the child is starting to calm down. So what do you do as the adult?
If you suspect it's a performance deficit, you want to provide cues for positive behaviors. And you want to do them with very limited verbal, as much as you can. And when that child does that positive behavior-- because at this point in time, sometimes our children really are trying to overplease us, because they realize that they have lost control and you have not.
So you want to attend to those positive behaviors. You want to provide quiet time. Notice that for a performance deficits and compliance deficits, those top three are really important. And you-- not the child-- you want to start considering or analyzing what led up to that challenging behavior. Why is it so important for you to do that right now during this time of recovery? Because you do not want to start another trigger that will end up being a repeat of behavior that will lose control to the extent that you dealt with.
Do you really want to start thinking about, OK, what were the triggers, and just make sure that you're not doing those things during that recovery period. You really want to hold off. One of the things I had to learn is to be a little patient. Because immediately, after my children have calmed down, I want to make sure they know what they were supposed to do, and how they didn't do it. And that was not always a very good idea.
You want to hold off teaching an alternate behavior until you know that child is back to a calm state-- not just recovering from losing control, but in a calm stare. You don't want to start to try to teach an alternate behavior and then end up having to be that teaching piece be the trigger for the next either tantrum or meltdown.
So when we start to think about how do we pull this all together-- everything is going to be a balance. You're going to have balancing between parent coaching. So, trying to help your child-- and at the same time, trying to be the behavior detective. And we'll honestly say, we know our children the best. And we need help in understanding our child's behavior so that we can help others who work with our child, whether it's in a sports type of situation, or whether it's in a school situation, we are our child's not only advocate, but we are the ones who know our children the best.
So we need to search for ways to build that social knowledge of our children across a variety of settings. We have to start to realize that maybe our child did not know how to reach out and initiate a friendship with another child. We have to recognize that maybe our child didn't realize that, yes, I open up the door when I'm at Wawa, but I also open up the door for others when I'm at JCPenney's and when I am in the school. So we have to look at the fact that because behavior occurs in a context, we have to make sure that our kids have that social knowledge. And make sure that that's intact before we make any judgment of any kind on the behavior of our children.
We need to use the ABCS. Remember that sandwich. The antecedent being the top of the bun, the behaviors, because there might be more than one, in the middle. And the consequence, which pulls it all together. We need to use those to analyze what impacts our children's behavior the most. Because if we can think about behavior in that way, we can actually save a lot of time and a lot of heartache in trying to figure out what strategy we might want to choose.
There's no one strategy. And I think most of us who are on this webinar can definitely understand that. There's no one strategy, but if we can think about behavior in a different way, we can choose the strategy. And we can look to see if it actually changes the behavior.
We want to seek to understand the reasons why your child, my child, is having this challenging behavior, and what is reinforcing it. What makes it more apt to occur? And I learned that the power of looking back, and really pulling back that camera, as they call it-- the 40 feet observation. Looking to see what kind of behavior is being reinforced.
Sometimes it's not us as parents. Sometimes it could be other siblings. I think about when one of my kids started laughing when my younger son learned to use words that were not appropriate. Because he was repeating it, he had heard it from somewhere else. But because, and no matter what I had said, with that's inappropriate, in teaching that skill, he continued to do it for a while, until I talked to the other child and said, you are not allowed to laugh at that. And then the behavior stopped almost abruptly.
So we have to think that sometimes, that the reason why our children are continuing the behavior may not be us personally. It may be something in the environment. And we have to think about that, and really try to understand, in order to get the behavior to change. The changes that we want to see.
And one of most important-- I probably should have highlighted this one-- is we have to look for possible deficits. And we have to do it in the following order-- skills, first and foremost. Never assume that your child, our children, have a skill. Performance. Make sure that we're considering what we know about the child's processing.
And here is what's most important. As we learn what performance deficits our children have, we have to also help our children recognize that too, so they can ask for the kinds of accommodation that they need. Because if they can learn to ask for some of these accommodations, then the behavior that might have been inappropriate, which is a way of communicating that things weren't working, may actually help our children ask for what they need. That's that self advocacy.
So we do so much when we think in terms of skills performance and then compliance. And remember, with compliance, you're really looking to change the behavior by doing positive motivation. Really trying to do in the positive. Because, if for some reason we made the wrong guess, we have done no harm.
Let's look at balancing antecedent and consequence strategies. As you can tell, as we went through the slides, if you even counted how many slides had antecedent strategies. These are very, very important. Those antecedent strategies can sometimes change the rest of the behaviors. And then you won't need to put in as many consequences. You won't find yourself having to think about what kind of consequence, or is my consequence a punishment. You won't need to.
You want to use those antecedent strategies of teaching a skill, of recognizing when you might need to reduce the trigger, of giving choices that make sense. Those antecedent strategies-- teaching the routine of transition, whatever transition seems to be causing the most grief for your family. Those are going to be the most powerful things that you have in your tool box.
The second piece is, be aware of sensory issues that may be impacting performance. And sometimes we don't recognize them, especially if you do not have sensory issues yourself. At one point in time, I could not understand why one of my students was having difficulty when we went on field tips. And what I ended up having to look at and really breaking down was the fact that the child did not like the smell of the rubber tires of the bus. Those sensory issues impacted his behavior.
So sometimes, we have to think about-- if we have young children, and I can see through some of the comments in the chat-- if you have young children, there might be sensory issues that might be impacting. If you think about some of our kids who may not have a reason for why they may have hit somebody away, check to see the types of perfumes that some of the adults are wearing. Those sensory issues are really overpowering. And in many cases, some of our children are swatting away those things that are aversive. They're trying to swipe that away, not necessarily targeting any one individual.
So those sensory issues are very important. I don't think we have enough information about that, sometimes. And really look at your child under those different types of settings, to see what kinds of things. Were there strong smells? Was there a lot of noise? Were there are a lot of visuals? Sometimes things that are hanging from ceilings, or from walls-- there are a lot of visual sensory input. Just be aware of those.
Sometimes we can't take them away, but we can lessen the amounts that we expose our child to. And then we can also make sure that when our child is in an agitated state, that those are the things that we keep in mind.
And the last one is remember to use corrective consequences in combination with teaching skills instead of punishment. If you remember from the examples, the punishment was far away from what was expected. That punishment had more of emotional context than it did of a teaching context. And that's why I always put that word corrective in front of consequences. Because we want the consequence to be remembered, but as a way of correcting behavior. So when those green beans roll on the floor, the child is picking up the green beans before you even say anything.
I know that I must have done something good in my childhood, because one of my children actually corrected themselves. And said exactly what I would have said. So that corrective consequence, again-- you have to think about it. If your child knows what you are going to say when that behavior occurs, then most likely you are using them yourself.
So the big idea behind everything that we covered is that the key to changing your child's behaviors is changing your responses to your child's behavior. The positive behavior strategies that were all throughout these slides help create predictable, consistent, and safe family environment. And that's what we want.
I used to think I wanted a healthy and happy family. But no. You know what I want? And I'm hoping that you have as well? Is predictable, consistent, positive, and safe family environment.
I'm going to take a look at the chat to make sure that I have gotten to the questions. And if you have additional questions, please feel free at this time to place them in the chat box.
There were several examples of some younger children who were running. And they were running because the adults were trying to chase her. So, if you think about that, that most likely is a compliance. So think about what kind of strategies you can have that could be something that could be earned. For example, even if it was just give grandpa a big hug, so that the child is running, but the child is running towards someone that is appropriate to run to.
I'm looking at any other questions here.
I saw that there were some concurrence-- as we were going through coming on the first time being called, that there are some older children who are still surprised that they feel they should be called twice. I remember when my children-- I used the one, two, three, only I did it backwards, because I felt like they could use some good elapsed time. I should say, I would give the directions, and honestly they did not move until two. So you have to decide-- is that acceptable? Would that be acceptable as the child is moving on? And maybe we just do a one or two, depending on the age of the child.
OK. One person is asking to speak. Can you post the slide of the ABC sandwich that you showed toward the beginning of the program? Yes. I will go back to that one.
And this is the one that had-- trust me. This will be posted. So that if you need to, you can print this slide out and put it on the refrigerator. This first one here is the ABCs of the behavior examples. So you can see, this is the example. You can see the antecedent behaviors that I was doing. And then the consequence of what mom said to me, and the privileges she gave.
Then when I went to the next slide-- whoops, go back one more. The function of the behavior. Remember, the ketchup was to get, avoid was the mustard, and the sensory piece was the mayonnaise. And I've got to be honest with you. Some of our behaviors may have a combination. And there's nothing wrong with that. You have to decide, as a parent, which one you want to address first. Because if I reduce the situational demands, that can work for kids who are trying to get, to avoid, or also, for some of the sensory pieces. Some of those strategies you will be able to use. And again, like I said, this will be posted.
There's a question. It says, the majority of the mental health professionals I've dealt with do not believe in sensory issues. I find it challenging to get support. Any suggestions? This is a question that gets asked a lot.
And one of the things we have to say is that, anything that impacts processing will most likely have a sensory impact. And every child is different. So when we look at what might be a trigger, sometimes, when you use the word sensory, it might mean something different to other people.
So oftentimes, what I will use, when I'm talking with others, is triggers. So for example, I know that loud places that have a lot of people in them is a trigger. And so if I use the word trigger, we're not going to have a discussion about what is sensory and not sensory, because I know a trigger is going to impact my child's behavior. So sometimes, when we look at the sensory piece-- and the hard thing about the sensory piece is that, for the most part, we're going to have to accommodate.
Sometimes, some of our children, the way the brain-- is very neuroplastic. We know that. It changes. Some of the sensory things that might have bothered our children when they were early on in life may not have the same strength as they get older. So one of the things that we want to look at is talking with our own kids about what is actually bothering them, and getting them to label that feeling, so that we can get an idea of which pieces are still in place.
And again, if people are not necessarily open to the word sensory, then I would use the word trigger. Because if a sensory impact is enough that it is causing a change in the behavior, then it's definitely something that needs to be addressed.
I have a question. Do you recommend starting with just one behavior and going from there in trying to change our response? There's two ways you can look at this. If there are a couple of behaviors that fit the same function-- so it's a good thing I'm on this slide.
So if kicking and yelling and screaming-- not that I want any of those three things to happen-- but it those are all happening at the same time while you're trying to get the child ready for bath, then you want to work on that routine of getting ready for bath. And you can work on all three of those behaviors, because the function is, I don't want to have a bath. It's avoiding. So sometimes you can pull the behavior together that are all fueled by the same function. Or, if it's easier for you to think about this, because this is a new skill for you, too, most likely-- some people may have said, you know what? We may not have this behavior before. So if that's the case, you can also choose to do one behavior.
The other question is, would a nine-year-old be too old to do the five finger count, or is there a better way to work with that age group with the interrupting while talking? Actually, I have done it with a nine-year-old. And what you can do is just do it non-verbally. And have the child even count to themselves, where they have to just show you in their fingers. Or you can even have them tap it on the side of their legs. And have them count to five. The biggest thing is, if you're going to do that five finger count, is you have to be on it. So as soon as the child is able to get to five, that your attention gets diverted.
All right. We're going to do one more. You want me to go back up this way? [INAUDIBLE] Yes. That book, there is-- oh, there's more? All right. [INAUDIBLE]
How would you expect [INAUDIBLE] child to have input on both incentives and consequences? You know what, this is part of your teaching. So when you're teaching a new routine, that could be when you say, OK, let's talk about this. We just talked about how I want you to put your dirty laundry away in the right basket. What do you think you would like to earn, as we start to get this into our routine? And start to use those words, routine. And what should happen if you don't do this? And have that. And you might have to actually help provide some of the answers. But having that conversation helps teach that self-regulation.
There's a book-- The Out of Sync Child. Absolutely. It does explain sensory disorder. And it can help you describe specifics on your child's behavior. And thank you, Jacqueline, because that is exactly-- that is an excellent resource as well.
All right. We have got to 8:32. I cannot believe it. We are two minutes past. If we did not get to your question, there will be an FAQ that will be sent out. And we'll sure that we provide those answers, as well as the slides, so that everyone has what they need.
And I want to thank you very much for spending this evening with me.
This is Cathy Miller again. And I want to thank Becky for an excellent job. Thank you so much. This was just so very informative. And I am going to-- I just want to remind everybody about the evaluation this evening. Please, as soon as we shut this webinar off, the evaluation, via SurveyMonkey, is going to pop up on your screen. And please, please, please, take two to five minutes and fill out our evaluation.
And again, thank you all for joining us. And don't forget to register for our May 7th session on identifying community resources. Thank you everyone. Have a lovely evening. Good night.